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The Psychology of Color in Fashion ChoiceWhen going out on a date, the fashion choice you select sends multiple messages to the other person. One message comes from the color of clothing you wear. Different color choices convey different meanings, set different moods, or create different impressions. In this article, a brief review will be given of the different messages sent out by different colors in the outfits you may choose to wear. Now, the colors you wear probably won’t be as important as, say, how you communicate with the
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Temptations to Warn OthersSome people have an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that was very troublesome in their past relationship together. Perhaps they were cheaters. Maybe the were physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically abusive. They may have been neglectful or even possessed a personality disorder. Many exes are exes for a reason: because they have notable problems that led to or at least contributed to the demise of your previous relationship together. However that relationship ended, perhaps you can
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A Naturally Excellent WomanOver the years, clients have occasionally asked me who they think represents an ideal woman in the movies. Women have also sometimes asked me who I think an ideal woman is to strive to be like in a relationship and who represents the ideal. Men have also sometimes asked if an ideal woman exists in the movies as well to help them know what to look for and who to choose. I have thought about it and out of all of the women I have seen in the movies, one woman to me represents the ideal woman, wife
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Social Anxiety: A Problem to ManageSocial anxiety is a common and troubling challenge among most people, especially single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is often a misunderstood, frustrating issue. Therefore, the purpose of this article is to give a brief introduction to the disorder, as well as offer some ideas and suggestions to help you lessen and control this problem. Social Anxiety can be defined as follows: The defining feature of social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is
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Q&A: How Can I Trust My Choices?Question: Hi Randy: How do you get over the discouragement and mistrust of your own judgment? I did everything I was ever supposed to do and still ended up married to a very not good person. I've never had a drink, a cigarette, done drugs, always been active in church, did my callings, served a mission, stayed chaste, I knew my husband for over a year before we got married, and we were married in the temple. I even did therapy to deal with past trauma before marriage. I did everything I was
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Being Less Socially AwkwardBeing socially awkward is a common problem for singles, including single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. What does it mean to be “socially awkward”? It basically means coming across as nervous or tense around others in a social situation. This generally makes others feel uncomfortable, even repelled. Social awkwardness is basically a combination of a lack of social skills in combination with social anxiety. Taken together, it tends to create an unpleasant atmosphere
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Applying Nephi’s Teaching to SinglesThere are many teachings from Nephi in the Book of Mormon that can give special insights, direction, and instruction for single members in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This brief article will review three particular lessons from Nephi that you can hopefully apply to your life. Please review and enjoy: Lessons from Nephi: 1) You can do anything you are commanded to do. That includes your callings, keeping the commandments, your search for a spouse, and anything else the
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Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs)One reality of dating and relationships today for single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is this: if you are going to date and hopefully marry an active, solid member of the church, you may have to participate in a long-distance relationship (aka LDR). Why? Because either you live in an area with few active single members or you have a decent amount of members around you but just need fresh, new options. Everyone suddenly has a much bigger pool of dating options when
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Enduring to the End…Single?Many times in the scriptures we are told to “endure to the end”. For instance, Christ told the Nephites, “Behold, I am the law, and the light. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life” (3 Nephi 15:9). So, what does that mean? From my understanding, this means staying active in church and being faithful to your baptismal covenants until you die. Keeping temple covenants too, where applicable. Keep active, keep having
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Evolutionary PsychologyEvolutionary psychology is a psychological theory that includes the ideas that men and women are different physically, psychologically, and emotionally in certain key ways. These differences evolved over many thousands or millions of years of human evolution and exist instinctively and genetically because these traits promoted successful survival and reproduction over the years in some fashion. Each complimentary trait somehow helps each gender best promote reproduction, healthy offspring, and
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Being ApproachableA lot of times, people in the singles/dating world get frustrated with a number of common issues and challenges. One of the more common frustrations involves people being unhappy that others do not approach them or keep wanting to interact after a brief exchange. If you are noticing that you are rarely approached or your conversations with others are usually brief, tense, or awkward, there are probably reasons for this. Are you not rich, good looking, or popular enough? I don’t know. Maybe
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Mean GirlsAs members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there shouldn’t be a need for an article on “mean girls”, right? Unfortunately, yes there is. This phenomenon exists in wards and in other church circles just like elsewhere else. Mean girls are just that—girls/women who are mean to each other in certain ways mainly particular to females. This “mean” treatment of others hits a peak in the junior high and high school years, although it generally begins in elementary school and can
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Assessing SpiritualityWhen first getting to know someone and as you begin dating, assessing the other person’s level of spirituality is important. Why? Because the greater the mismatch spiritually between the both of you, the greater the challenges tend to be in the relationship. How does that make sense? If the other person is much stronger spiritually than you, shouldn’t that be a plus? For them personally, yes. But not necessarily for you both in the relationship. A highly spiritual person tends to be very
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Explaining BaggageA particular challenge of dating in and out of church circles is baggage. More specifically, deciding when and how to explain the particular baggage (meaning, your notable issues or challenges) you bring to the relationship. If you bring up your baggage too quickly, you could scare people off and repel others. Conversely, if you bring up issues too deep and late into a relationship—even after engagement or even marriage, the other person may feel you weren’t honest and open in the relationship.
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Picking WellOver the years I’ve noticed that there are 2 simple and basic requirements to a successful relationship. The first requirement is to pick well, the second is to nurture your relationship well from there. If you have picked well, the other person will most likely nurture you well in return. Implied in this rule of thumb is that when you do not pick well—when you pick a person with notable character flaws, problems, or issues, your efforts to keep the relationship healthy, happy, and committed
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Applying the 7 Habits to RelationshipsA landmark self-help book by renown BYU professor Stephen Covey is the classic work: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Regularly touted as one of the top 20 self-help books of all time, this remarkable work loosely and informally translates several useful and traditionally LDS principles into a user-friendly self-help form to promote what makes for healthy, happy, effective people. These principles relate to both the business world, relationships, and life in general. In today’s dating
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