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To Trust or Not to Trust?One of the most challenging aspects of both online dating relationships and relationships in general is the topic of trust. Trust, from the Webster dictionary, is defined as "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc." In relationships, trust involves believing the other will uphold essential principles and values including sexual fidelity, respectful and civil treatment, and willingness and commitment to follow through with responsibilities such as church
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Letting Go of HeartbreakThere is a challenge with online dating, and dating in general. By this point, most people have suffered some significant form of heartache and heartbreak. Sometimes we've been broken up with when we thought marriage was coming. Sometimes we had to break up with or divorce the other person because our expectations weren't met. Other times, unions of two particular people are toxic, including cycles of arguments, verbal abuse, and other emotional trauma. Infidelity ("cheating") emotionally
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Being FriendzonedWhen getting to know someone online, over the phone, in person, how do you know when they decide they aren't romantically interested? Or, as it's commonly called today, them "friendzoning" you. Sometimes the other person will just come out and say it, usually with one of the more common cliches: "I just don't think we're a match", "I just see us as friends", "I just don't think this is going to work out", etc. Sometimes you hear this sooner, other times later. It usually hurts when you hear
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Dating AdviceBe precise: When writing an Internet personal ad or filling out an online dating questionnaire, be as specific as possible. Think about who you are and what makes you unusual and list both your successes and your failures. Mentions of moonlight strolls, or walks in the park are meaningless. Instead, you might say, "I'm a homebody who really loves cooking, but also likes camping." Saying, "I'm looking for someone who is not afraid of snakes, but also is not a carnivore" sets you apart as a
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Make the First MoveDon’t play hard to get: You won’t get got. You’re out of high school now, if you are interested in someone, be it male or female, go ahead and talk to them. Ask them to dance, ask them out for a meal, or a walk. Be open to that request and take a chance. Game Playing: There are books written on “game” for guys and how to manipulate women and it is predicated on certain typical behavior in most women. One of the most common is based on the saying “women always want the shoes another woman
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Follow The SpiritAll too often I see comments like this from adult singles on social media: “I’m waiting for HF to bring me my EC”. The abbreviations are “Heavenly Father” and “Eternal Companion”. This is wrong thinking for a lot of reasons, you have to be actively engaged in your own life, the Lord isn’t bringing a spouse to your door out of the blue. Let me give you some scriptural references of how you must seek out the Lord and ask, he isn’t going to bring you something unbidden, but the spirit can guide
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Using Personality TestsPersonality tests, when shown to be valid and reliable, can offer great insights into ourselves and/or our dating partner. Interestingly, we as people often don't know ourselves as well as we might think we do. So the more we learn about ourselves and our dating partner, the more we can know what areas of concern need to be addressed and improved upon. High quality questionnaires can be useful tools in this regard, and I highly recommend them. Many problems in relationships seem to emerge
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Green Light Signals - Are They Interested?One of the sometimes exciting, sometimes frustrating things about getting to know someone in the beginning of dating is: are they really interested in me? And how interested? Both men and women can be rather coy in this regard. Three possibilities here: A) They haven't decided how interested they are in you yet. B) They have decided they are not that interested and don't want to hurt your feelings, hoping you will get the hint. C) They're interested, possibly very interested, but don't want
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Introduction to Our New Columnist, Dr GHello, my name is Dr Randy Gilchrist and I am excited to offer my writing services to LDS Dimension. I believe in members helping other members. The mission and philosophy of LDS Dimension is that unlike other LDS dating sites, this site is created by members, for members. Therefore, I offered my contributions here to support quality LDS dating at a site I have confidence and trust in. Basically, I'll be sharing my thoughts, insights, and wisdom gained as a long time LDS psychologist to give
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