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Doug and Debbie Downersby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) If you are single, looking to date, in a relationship, engaged, or married, there is one piece of advice I would like to give to help you hopefully attract and keep a great partner and spouse in your life. This is, be careful and watch to minimize your level of negativity. Negative comments and attitudes towards yourself, others, and life in general is draining, depressing, and an overall downer.
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Double Standards in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) According to the Webster dictionary, a double standard refers to "a situation in which two people, groups, etc., are treated very differently from each other in a way that is unfair to one of them". In relationships specifically, a double standard occurs when one partner is allowed to engage in certain behaviors or habits that the other partner is not allowed to do. The hypocrisy of such double
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Single--Feeling Like a Second Class Member?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the tough truths as an active Latter Day Saint is that because marriage, and the family that follows marriage, is the main ideal unit and foundation of the church, where does that leave singles? Whether divorced or never married, many singles can often feel like second class members of the church. Perhaps not seeing themselves as important, relevant, or valued like those who are married with
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Would the Grass be Greener in Another Relationship?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) When considering someone to date, when in a dating relationship, when engaged or especially when married, a normal human tendency both in and out of the church is to wonder if "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence". In other words, we wonder if another relationship besides what we are in would be better. Maybe someone else would be better looking, nicer, richer, more fun, better with
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Giving Apologiesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) An apology is, by definition, "a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure". A couple of scriptures supporting the concept of apologies are as follows: "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." --Matthew 5:9 "For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin." --Psalms 38:18 Most of us learned growing up that when we wrong another
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Intergender Communication Skills in the LDS Singles SceneThe #1 macro level problem I see in the LDS Singles scene, is an utter lack of understanding of the opposite sex. I guess this is more of a societal problem in general, but we can take some steps to mitigate it. Women tend to think of men as just harrier women, without much thought of how fundamentally different men and women are. This is also a problem from the male perspective, but men are much more outcome based, whereas women are process based, and this means that women will tend to
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First Impressionsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) First impressions are the initial idea you create about what a person is like/others create about you, based upon initial cues like tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, first words, and other immediate/superficial factors. Sometimes, initial impressions end up different than how we end up feelings towards or about a person. However, more often than not, the initial first impression we
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Developing a Positive Attitude with Datingby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Single and LDS? Tired of the singles scene? Tired of the meat market? Then you are not alone. Many others in your situation have similar feelings. Perhaps previous dating has been unsuccessful. Maybe you have been let down, hurt, or frustrated in the past. It could be that previous promising relationships ended poorly and left you negative and pessimistic with the dating scene. Maybe after a
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How to use Facebook effectively to meet peopleMy husband and founder of LDS Dimension, Shawn Gordon, and I also run a group on Facebook called LDS Dating, which provides another way to meet and interact with people. After watching and helping many people meet both here and there, we have talked about things that can help people be more successful in our Facebook group. Here is the list we put together. 1.DO get involved in conversations on posts. This allows you to see who has similar ideals as yourself and may lead to continuing
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Judgement is not a 4 letter wordThis might be the most oft quoted and wrongly applied part of the Holy Bible: Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version (KJV) 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? I’m not sure how it is in Evangelical Christian circles, but in LDS circles, people throw
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Mind Reading in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender
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Facebook FakersHow do you more easily spot fake profiles and fake groups on Facebook? What is a fake group about? While this article is generally useful in spotting fake profiles and groups, it is written around a specific use case scenario targeting a specific religious group. In this case we are looking at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS or Mormons) and what some fringe groups do to try and draw faithful members in and then inundate them with a bunch of garbage. A few years ago a
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Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As an extension of the article I wrote last week with the same title, I thought that this was an important enough topic to write more about, given many common misconceptions, dissatisfaction, and dysfunction existing in the area of sex lives amongst fellow LDS members. Once again, I will use the word "sex" instead of "intimacy" to make it very clear what I am referring to so there is no
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Sex Lives in Marriageby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we generally have a strange, awkward relationship with the topic of sex. That's right, I said the word "sex". Can we as church members talk about this important, relevant topic openly? In short, yes, when it's done in a respectful manner. Becoming educated on this subject will help support, sustain, and enrich your eventual marriage. So why is the topic of "sex" in marriage rarely
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Overcoming Dating Anxietyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most limiting and self defeating challenges in the dating world is anxiety: fears, phobias, paranoia, insecurity, worries, "what ifs", etc. Dating anxiety often results from previous relationship wounds. Maybe you grew up in a highly contentious home. Maybe your parents divorced and/or had a highly conflicted relationship. Perhaps previous dating partners (or an ex spouse) hurt you and let
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How to Trust AgainIn my previous article, "To Trust or Not to Trust", I gave some suggestions and recommendations on how to assess and determine how trustworthy a dating partner is. However, I fully understand that just because you might accurately determine if someone is "trustworthy", that doesn't mean you will automatically feel and act trusting of them as a result. Why not? Scars. Emotional baggage. Other pain and problems creating "trust issues". Perhaps you have been strongly hurt or disappointed in
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