|
Being Less Visually OrientedI have made the case in several previous articles that looks matter in the dating world. How a person looks and the attraction that results from those looks is the most immediate and powerful indicator of attraction. When we are initially attracted to a person’s good looks, that leads us to then being more open to learning more about that person, subsequent conversation, and a possible eventual relationship. Even though people often say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, that is only
|
|
Appreciating MasculinityIn the 2020s, the media and public perception towards traditional masculinity has been largely presented in negative terms. In fact, a new term has been recently coined, “toxic masculinity”. This term can be basically defined as follows: “The concept of toxic masculinity is used in academic and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related
|
|
Not Being BoringA lot of times, singles feel they are passed over or put into the “friendzone” because they are either not physically attractive enough and/or don’t make enough money to attract/keep another person. That may or may not be true, depending on a person’s individual circumstance and situation. But beyond those two attraction elements, another important element is, are you fun, exciting, entertaining, and enjoyable to be around and interact with? When not, you might be hit with the tough label of
|
|
Reasons for DivorceRoughly 50%+ of all marriages result in divorce, with divorces among member couples approaching the rates of the national norm. Knowing why divorces commonly happen can be helpful to be aware of. This way, ideally, you can address, compromise, and work through these issues before they evolve into a true crisis and an eventual divorce. There is an old saying: kill the monster while it is small. Not when it has grown to the size of Godzilla or King Kong. Other applicable sayings here: nip it in
|
|
Being Happy and HealthyA common idea shared with singles is that you need to be happy and healthy yourself first, and then you will be more ready to have a healthy relationship with someone else. While there are some different opinions out there on how important this is before your next relationship, it is safe to say that working to be personally healthy, happy, and balanced in a good goal no matter where you are at relationship-wise. In this article, several key areas will be reviewed to help you be happy and
|
|
Being Happy and HealthyA common idea shared with singles is that you need to be happy and healthy yourself first, and then you will be more ready to have a healthy relationship with someone else. While there are some different opinions out there on how important this is before your next relationship, it is safe to say that working to be personally healthy, happy, and balanced in a good goal no matter where you are at relationship-wise. In this article, several key areas will be reviewed to help you be happy and
|
|
Looks and Money—How Important?We learned in the Bible the following regarding looks: “…for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”—I Samuel 16:7. In addition, we also learn the following regarding money: “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through
|
|
Depression and DatingDepression can have a negative effect on efforts to date. And then when dating efforts don’t work out as hoped, feelings of depression can follow, as well loneliness and despair. It can be a vicious cycle. Furthermore, when depressed, people tend to not give off the positive energy generally required to attract and develop a healthy relationship. Either the depressive energy will repel people away or even worse, it may attract an unhealthy and predatory individual. In any event, depression does
|
|
Dating TodayDating today has often been called “dead”. Many frustrated singles have given up on dating altogether, or at least take breaks for long periods of time. Others prefer instead to “hang out” or “hook up” (and be physical/sexual) without dating or having a relationship in any formal way. In the 2020s and beyond, with the world of social media, online dating, and other technological advances, we have been accustomed to immediate gratification, quick fixes, and the illusion that we can always do
|
|
Successful Vacations TogetherWhy write an article on going on successful vacations together for the singles community? Because when you get married (or married again), vacations will be an important part of your lives together. As you know, some vacations are wonderful, positive experiences together, whereas others can be described as “disasters”. What makes for a positive, successful trip/vacation together? This article will review several useful tips, tools, and suggestions to do so. Traveling together really can reveal
|
|
Following Through with a BreakupOne of the most difficult challenges in dating is 1) knowing when to cut off a relationship and break it off, and then more importantly, 2) actually following through with the breakup and not going back. Why is this so difficult? Why is it so hard to break up and stay broken up with an unhealthy relationship? From my experience and understanding, it is usually because of some kind of fear: fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, and/or fear of not being able to find another relationship. Such
|
|
Developing EmpathyIn an earlier article, I discussed empathy, gave a few ideas on how to overcome selfishness (see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/overcoming-selfishness-254/). As a compliment and an extension of that article, I wanted to focus on empathy, as well as add some extra ideas on how to develop it. From an article in Psychology Today magazine, empathy is described as follows: “Empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, animal, or
|
|
When Will I Find Someone?A common question I hear in both my therapy office and elsewhere from singles is, “when will I meet someone?” The answer: in 3 weeks, 3 hours, and 3 minutes from now. No really, how could I or anyone know? Some will meet their future spouse soon, some will be years from now, others will get together with their eternal companion on the other side in the next life. Even though there is no way to answer the question of exactly when it will happen, there are certain things you can do to increase
|
|
Narcissism and CodependencyIn previous articles, I introduced and talked about the concepts of narcissism. (See: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/narcissists-what-to-watch-for-97/ and codependency https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/codependency-maybe-its-you-101/). In sum, a narcissistic person lacks empathy and is selfish, self-absorbed, and often disrespectful and abusive to others. A codependent person is generally overly giving, very accommodating, and others oriented to an extreme degree, putting them at
|
|
Being Proactive in the Relationship SearchDifferent opinions exist in our church culture as to the degree to which The Lord has a hand in relationships. Some say he will directly deliver a dating partner to the righteous who ask, while others say the person needs to seek and work hard to find their significant other and it is mostly on the individual. The truth may lie somewhere in between. While it is true that the Lord blesses the righteous and answers prayers, it seems he generally expects us to do whatever we can reasonably do from
|
|
Is it the Spirit or Infatuation?Being attracted to one another is a good indicator of a positive future sex life in marriage. Therefore, such infatuation feelings can be useful and helpful. However, infatuation needs to not be the main emphasis in the relationship because it isn’t enough. Relationships need more. Instead, when a spiritual emphasis primarily exists with a couple instead, the future prospects of an eternal relationship are much more positive. However, this can be especially difficult to determine and
|