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Is Love Online Possible?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but
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Overcoming Pornographyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I introduced pornography as the immense problem it is today, especially with boys and men. In this follow up article, I will review some simple, practical ideas you can use to prevent and overcome the problem of watching pornography. As an LDS psychologist, I've helped many members overcome this addiction over the years at LDS Family Services and in my private practice. In
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Pornography: A Big Problemby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Pornography is a bigger problem today than it's ever been in the existence of mankind. Never before have pornographic images and videos been so conveniently and pervasively available. Pornography is just a few clicks or key words away on smart phones, tablets, and computers. In addition, movies, television, magazines, billboards, and many other mediums make pornography so easily and readily available
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Body Image Challengesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other
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Boosting Self Esteemby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I examined self-esteem--the degree that we value ourselves--and why it matters. In this week's article, I will present a number of ways to work to help boost and elevate our self-esteem and self-worth. Accordingly, here are a 5 ways to work each day to treat yourself better and eventually feel better towards and about yourself: 1) Stop criticizing yourself To criticize
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Self-Esteem: It Mattersby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In psychology, self-esteem is defined by the Webster dictionary as "a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities". In other words, having self-esteem is having value and confidence towards yourself to be able to handle the rigors and disappointments of life. Sometimes as LDS members, we hear that we shouldn't strive for self-esteem, or that having self-esteem is bad or prideful. In
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Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As an extension of the article I wrote last week with the same title, I thought that this was an important enough topic to write more about, given many common misconceptions, dissatisfaction, and dysfunction existing in the area of sex lives amongst fellow LDS members. Once again, I will use the word "sex" instead of "intimacy" to make it very clear what I am referring to so there is no
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Sex Lives in Marriageby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we generally have a strange, awkward relationship with the topic of sex. That's right, I said the word "sex". Can we as church members talk about this important, relevant topic openly? In short, yes, when it's done in a respectful manner. Becoming educated on this subject will help support, sustain, and enrich your eventual marriage. So why is the topic of "sex" in marriage rarely
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Are We Spiritually Compatible?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Compatibility is an essential requirement of a healthy, happy, successful, hopefully eternal marriage. Definitions of compatibility from the Webster's dictionary includes, "capable of existing together in harmony", as well as "designed to work with another device or system without modification". Interesting. There are many areas to consider when considering relationship compatibility (or lack
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Overcoming Dating Anxietyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most limiting and self defeating challenges in the dating world is anxiety: fears, phobias, paranoia, insecurity, worries, "what ifs", etc. Dating anxiety often results from previous relationship wounds. Maybe you grew up in a highly contentious home. Maybe your parents divorced and/or had a highly conflicted relationship. Perhaps previous dating partners (or an ex spouse) hurt you and let
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Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & Aby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, Licensed Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (free LDS online dating site) Wolves in Sheep's Clothing Question: Hi Dr. G: I am a divorced mother of three, divorced for 12 years. I have dated, I am LDS, and live in Utah county. Our religion in Utah is different than outside of Utah. I am exhausted. I have never met so many wolves in sheep's clothing, I don't want to give up, but how do I change this? Also, how do I identify if it's me or them? Not everything or
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Jealousy--What to Do About ItJealousy is defined in the Webster's Dictionary as either 1) an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has, or 2) an unhappy or angry feeling caused by the belief that someone you love (such as your dating partner or spouse) likes or is liked by someone else. In other words, feeling jealous is a form of desiring or coveting what someone else possesses, seems to possess, or might come to possess. In the dating world, jealousy can take many forms. You might feel jealous of
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Looks--How Much Do They Matter?As I started this article, I was originally going to title this: Looks--How Much Should They Matter? However, I think an article based more upon the real world and how much looks actually matter would be a more useful place to start. I will probably write the other article at a later time (including other "non looks oriented attractors"). So, how much do looks tend to matter in the dating world? In short: a lot. Remember, I'm just the messenger with this, but it's the truth and you need to
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How to Trust AgainIn my previous article, "To Trust or Not to Trust", I gave some suggestions and recommendations on how to assess and determine how trustworthy a dating partner is. However, I fully understand that just because you might accurately determine if someone is "trustworthy", that doesn't mean you will automatically feel and act trusting of them as a result. Why not? Scars. Emotional baggage. Other pain and problems creating "trust issues". Perhaps you have been strongly hurt or disappointed in
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Settling vs. ExpectationsA common conversation among singles in the church and the single population in general, especially when you hear about a breakup, is that person being consoled and told to “not settle”, the internet is overflowing with these memes, but what does that mean? Oftentimes people have a big laundry list of what they desire in someone else, and they consider settling to be not getting someone with that entire laundry list means they are settling. There are some things missing from this equation
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To Trust or Not to Trust?One of the most challenging aspects of both online dating relationships and relationships in general is the topic of trust. Trust, from the Webster dictionary, is defined as "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc." In relationships, trust involves believing the other will uphold essential principles and values including sexual fidelity, respectful and civil treatment, and willingness and commitment to follow through with responsibilities such as church
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