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Scriptural Examples for Singles: Nephi and Moroniby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Nephi of old demonstrated that an excellent use of the scriptures is to liken them unto ourselves. He says: “Now it came to pass that I, Nephi, did teach my brethren these things; and it came to pass that I did read many things to them, which were engraven upon the plates of brass, that they might know concerning the doings of the Lord in other lands, among people of old. And I did read many things
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Valuing Femininityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In today’s world, the media, society, and academics often create and perpetuate antagonism between the genders, especially from women towards men. That which is considered masculine is often promoted and sought after by women over men. Masculine traits have been deemed by society as the desirable traits for women to ascribe to, and feminine traits have been deemed the weak traits, and have been left
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Trying Too Hardby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A good rule of thumb in life: the problems in life tend to occur at the extremes. In dating and searching for an eternal companion, that can equate to trying too hard to find a spouse or not trying hard enough. But what does it mean to “try too hard”? It simply means when with a potential new love interest, you make notably more efforts than the other person: giving significantly more time, energy
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Anger Management Ideasby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the main causes of pain, stress, trauma, and resentment in a dating or married relationship is when one or both partners has a big problem with anger management. Years ago when I was a new intern therapist at Utah State University's marriage & family therapy program, I worked at a non-profit social service agency named The Family Connection Center in Clearfield. My first duty was the
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Getting Ready for Another Relationshipby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Almost all LDS singles have had their heart broken at least once before. Divorce, failed engagement, or just regular breakups result in different levels of pain, frustration, and emotional scars. Until and unless a relationship is forever, the rest…won't be. Resulting from such pain involves a natural and understandable phenomenon that I call the "self protect" syndrome. This refers to part inside
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Feminism Versus Masculinityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In 1995, the First Presidency released The Family: A Proclamation to the World, which included the following: All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and
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Rescue, Fix, and Save: White Knightsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Cinderella. Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Other classic Disney princesses. What do they all have in common? They were all rescued and saved from their unhealthy, unhappy existence from a man all too eager and willing to save them. A prince. A knight on a white horse. A white knight coming in to make it all better. Cinderella was saved from her wicked stepmother. Snow White was saved from a jealous
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When to Date Again When You Have Kidsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the "LDS Dating" Facebook group that I help moderate, I recently received a private message from a group member asking for some direction. Apparently, her ex husband was wanting to date again, but their teenager wasn't wanting him to and wasn't ready. Technically, whether her ex husband decides to date again or not under her control. However, the general topic is worth more attention: after
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Flirting Skillsy Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In our LDS community, flirting takes on an important role in the development of relationships, dating, and the path towards marriage. Because we have scriptural edicts in our church to "love one another", "love your neighbor", and even "love your enemies", LDS singles circles tend to have a lot of general "friendships" and "friend-like interactions". At the least minimally "civil" associations tend to
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Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeperby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A "creeper", according to the Urban Dictionary, is basically "a male whose uncertain behavior or looming mysterious presence makes regular folks, especially women, unsettled". The creeper designation has traditionally been applied to older men staring or ogling at notably younger girls or women, implying they are potential dangerous or even pedophiles. However, the term today has taken on a more
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To Disclose or Not to Disclose?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Most LDS singles come to a new relationship having had some kind of notable challenge, pain, trauma, or trouble in life. Some may have involved their own poor choices, whereas other troubles involved being victimized by the abusive or neglectful treatment of others. Such choices may have involved abuse, sexual indiscretions, or addictions. Still others have simply had problems or struggles that
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Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interestedby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the hardest parts of the dating experience is noticing and concluding that someone you are interested is not interested in you in return. Part of the time it is obvious. Especially when the other person just comes out and says it to you: "I am not interested in you", "I don't think we are a match", "I don't feel the chemistry together", "I feel we are more friends", "I just don't feel the
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Abusive Tactics in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In previous articles I have reviewed the three most dangerous and difficult personality disorders a person can have: antisocial, narcissistic, and borderline. A person with traits of or a full diagnosis of any of those three conditions tend to be what we call in psychology "abusive", at worst extreme, "domestic violence offenders". Beware of people with any of those three personality disorder traits
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Beware the Antisocial Personalityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) At about 10:00pm on October 1, 2017, a deranged individual named Stephen Paddock fired down thousands of rounds of gunfire from the 32nd floor of the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay Casino on the 22,000 concertgoers below. After 59 were killed and hundreds more injured, the world was left to make sense of it all. What drove him to this horrific act of bloodshed and horror? A week later at the time of the
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Codependency: Maybe It's You?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Even though "codependency" is not an official/formal psychological diagnosis in the DSM-V (the official book we psychologists get out classifications from), this is still a rather useful term in understanding certain unhealthy relational struggles and challenges. The origin of this term ties back to the group "Adult Children of Alcoholics", now more formally known as "Al-Anon"--the groups for family
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Q & A--What Leads to Divorce in LDS Marriages?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: From your experience as a therapist for the church, what are the top 3 reasons for divorce? And what can singles do now to prepare for marriage that can eliminate/decrease those elements in future relationships? Answer: Yes, good question. I have worked with LDS couples in therapy for 20 years, including 5 years at LDS Family Services. Thinking about it, I'd say the following are
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