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Motivation to ChangeArguably the greatest impediment towards lasting change and improvement is…a lack of motivation. Motivation is defined by Google as “the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way”, or “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”. Basically, there two types of motivation. “Internal” or “intrinsic” motivation, which relates to truly wanting to change inside apart from outside influence. The second type is referred to as “external” motivation, which
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Choosing Our Spouses— Spiritual ConfirmationsAn area of challenge amongst single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is choice of spouse. When we choose to date, start a relationship, and marry someone, we pray about it in hopes of making the right decision. We are told to pray for guidance, direction, and inspiration. We learn we need to ask for help from the Spirit to let us know what is the right/best choice to make. So, what does that mean for the choice we ultimately make? Ask for Guidance: Here are some
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Church Quotes on MarriageOver the years, many good quality quotes have been given by general authorities giving insight, support, and encouragement for to construct of marriage, as well as how to have the best one possible. As you date and prepare for your own future marriage, perhaps these quotes can be useful, helpful, and motivational. General Authority Quotes on Marriage: An Opportunity for Eternal Marriage in this Life or the Next: “Many of the most important deprivations of mortality will be set right
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Why Marriage Today?There has perhaps never been as much pressure on the institution of marriage than there is today. Between negative attitudes and messages from the media, academia, research statistics, and society in general, marriage is under fire. Guys often hear the message today that marriage is legally and financially risky, with family court decisions tending to lean more towards favoring women. Many men today are worried about the overall risks and wonder is it if worth it. Women, on the other hand, have
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Being Hopeful in Single LifeThere are several ways to be single. You can be a person who has never been married. You can have had one or more divorces. Or you can be a widow/widower. Whatever your particular circumstance, most adult members of the church will be single at some point of their lives. The church recently revealed that for the first time ever, more adult church members are single than married—just over 50%. An April, 2021 Deseret News article stated the following: “…The majority of adult church members are
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Online Dating—Picking a WinnerOnline dating today is more than just the traditional online dating websites. There are also dating apps, social media forums, video games, and many other ways to meet and connect online. In most social sites online, a person has a profile of some kind that possesses valuable information that can help you learn whether or not they would make for a good pick to date and relationship partner. And what the profile doesn’t show, you can then tactfully research and inquire about before meeting. In
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Worldly Attitudes on MarriageIn Lehi and Nephi’s vision of the tree of life, a metaphorical image is given of a “great and specious building”. In this building, many popular, trendy, well dressed inhabitants cast ridicule, scorn, shame, and put downs to those holding onto the iron rod on the path towards the tree. Worldly views, attitudes, and philosophy was cast on the righteous in an attempt to lead them astray from eternal life. Accordingly, we read from Lehi’s vision: And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld
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To Move or Not to Move?One tough reality for today’s single church members with dating: do they choose to move to an area with better dating opportunities or do they stay put and do the best they can where they are? The answer to this question is completely arbitrary and up to you. However, this article will review some possible challenges to moving that need to be overcome to hopefully help with your decision. The fact is that some areas have many more single members than others—namely the bigger metros in Utah
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Staying Power in a RelationshipRelationships have 2 basic phases. In the first phase, relationships are new, exciting, and exhilarating. Often, partners become very infatuated, even obsessed with the other. Hence, this phase is often called the “infatuation phase”. Time together is often intoxicating, and time away is spent longing to be together once more as soon as possible. This stimulating phase often lasts anywhere from 6-12 months, sometimes less, sometimes more. Rarely does this phase last longer than about 2 years.
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Q&A: How Can I Trust My Choices?Question: Hi Randy: How do you get over the discouragement and mistrust of your own judgment? I did everything I was ever supposed to do and still ended up married to a very not good person. I've never had a drink, a cigarette, done drugs, always been active in church, did my callings, served a mission, stayed chaste, I knew my husband for over a year before we got married, and we were married in the temple. I even did therapy to deal with past trauma before marriage. I did everything I was
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Marriage FuelI’ve heard it said before that a marriage can be thought of as a living organism. Like any organism, “the marriage” can starve and die if it doesn’t receive the proper and adequate nutrition it needs. And even though there are many different forms of relational nutrition for a marriage, I wanted to highlight 2 forms in particular. Below I will share arguably the 2 top marital fuels that are important to a marriage: one for men and one for women. Hopefully when you marry, you can remember this
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Ways to Feed Your MarriageThere are several elements that research shows makes for a happy marriage, which will be reviewed in this article. If you have been married before or are looking forward towards your first marriage, follow the suggestions here in this little article to have a happy, healthy, lasting, and hopefully eternal marriage. If you think of a marriage as a living organism, it can die either through being killed through conflict, or by being starved through neglect. This article will review some key ways
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Mean GirlsAs members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there shouldn’t be a need for an article on “mean girls”, right? Unfortunately, yes there is. This phenomenon exists in wards and in other church circles just like elsewhere else. Mean girls are just that—girls/women who are mean to each other in certain ways mainly particular to females. This “mean” treatment of others hits a peak in the junior high and high school years, although it generally begins in elementary school and can
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Eternally Single?In the Doctrine & Covenants 132, we learn all about the nature of and difference between a marriage that will be eternal and those who end at the end of mortal life. The difference relates to whether or not you marry in the temple (and keep those covenants) versus if you marry civilly. The idea is that your choices determine these outcomes. However, what if you really want an eternal temple marriage but you settle for civil, hoping for more at some point? Or even possibly hope you will be given
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Libido Problems in MarriageIn previous articles I have discussed sex life related topics for single members as an effort to help everyone in preparation for their future marriage. Why? Because sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction is a common, damaging problem and challenge among married couples in the church. I have discussed the common topic and challenge of sexual hangups (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/sexual-hangups-in-marriage-182/), sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction in marriage
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Money and CompromiseMoney is one of the touchier, more challenging subjects for couples and relationships. Complicating the issue is the somewhat mixed messages given on the subject. Some scriptures point out the dangers and even problems of money and a materialistic focus, whereas other scriptures emphasize providing adequately and getting out of debt as positive things. Here are some various scriptures on the subject that frame the pursuit of money in a rather negative light: For the love of money is the root
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