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Men and Women--Meant to Be Togetherby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) I always end my LDS dating articles with the scripture from Paul that "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). And it's true. In today's world, there is a common thought that being single is fine, acceptable, normal, even preferred over being married together as husband and wife. However, this is not the Lord's way. Here are a
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Successful Marriages Are Those That…This is a topic that I could write a great many things about and make many points. However, I choose to focus on a few points that I have found are very important. John Gottman is understood to be the world's leading expert in marriage and marital research from the University of Washington. For decades he and his research team have been studying couples in his "Love Lab": his research facility to video tape, record, and track and code behavioral interactions between couples. With this
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Marrying Your Best Friendby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) What makes for a good selection in a mate and eternal spouse? Is it someone that you feel an enormously infatuated with? Someone you think about all day long and can't stand being without? Someone that excites and stimulates you? Someone that gives goosebumps and a fastly beating heart? Someone that entices you to be physically affectionate with? Perhaps someone who is very fun, exciting, and
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Hormones or the Spirit?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most challenging decisions we will ever make as LDS members is who to marry, when, and where. All of those decisions matter, and all of these decisions can be influences from a number of sources. Two of the stronger and more influential sources of influence come in the form of hormones and the Spirit, also known as the influence of the Holy Ghost. Sometimes the two sources of influence
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When Will I Get Married?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Commonly in the LDS singles community, people desire to be married for many years or decades--but may not for a variety of reasons. Often marriage seems delayed. Some have never been married, others are divorced or widowed. Many if not most LDS singles would like to be married but they are often scared. While some fear possible rejection and failure, others suffer from social anxiety and the overall
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LDS Singles and The Law of Chastityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A common difficulty for LDS singles is the challenge to stay morally clean and to obey the law of chastity. The law of chastity for fellow members of the church, whether married or single, is the same. The lds.org section on chastity spells out the requirements pretty clearly: "Physical intimacy…God has commanded that this sacred power be expressed only between a man and a woman who are legally
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The In-Lawsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) It is said that when you marry someone, you also marry their entire family, for better or worse. To date and marry someone, it can be wise to pay attention to who and what you may be taking on with their extended family. Some in-law relationships are easy and harmonious, others are contentious with a lot of friction, and yet others are minimal or even non-existent, especially when they live far away.
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Poor Marriage Role Modelsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Research and clinical experience show that children of highly troubled marriages--whether or not they stayed together or eventually divorced--are at a notably higher risk of future relationship problems themselves. Marital problems often leading to role modeling challenges include divorce, communication problems, conflict resolution issues, gender attitudes, disrespect, verbal or physical abuse, etc.
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Intergender Communication Skills in the LDS Singles SceneThe #1 macro level problem I see in the LDS Singles scene, is an utter lack of understanding of the opposite sex. I guess this is more of a societal problem in general, but we can take some steps to mitigate it. Women tend to think of men as just harrier women, without much thought of how fundamentally different men and women are. This is also a problem from the male perspective, but men are much more outcome based, whereas women are process based, and this means that women will tend to
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Sexual Dysfunction in Marriageby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we have all probably heard the rule of thumb in regards to the law of chastity: complete abstinence before marriage, complete fidelity after marriage. Solo sexual outlets such as pornography or masturbation are a big no no as well. Young men and women growing up in the church hear regular talks and direction on guarding their virtue, and that sex outside of marriage is the third most
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Mind Reading in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender
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Pornography: A Big Problemby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Pornography is a bigger problem today than it's ever been in the existence of mankind. Never before have pornographic images and videos been so conveniently and pervasively available. Pornography is just a few clicks or key words away on smart phones, tablets, and computers. In addition, movies, television, magazines, billboards, and many other mediums make pornography so easily and readily available
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Body Image Challengesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other
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Self-Esteem: It Mattersby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In psychology, self-esteem is defined by the Webster dictionary as "a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities". In other words, having self-esteem is having value and confidence towards yourself to be able to handle the rigors and disappointments of life. Sometimes as LDS members, we hear that we shouldn't strive for self-esteem, or that having self-esteem is bad or prideful. In
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Sex Lives in Marriageby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we generally have a strange, awkward relationship with the topic of sex. That's right, I said the word "sex". Can we as church members talk about this important, relevant topic openly? In short, yes, when it's done in a respectful manner. Becoming educated on this subject will help support, sustain, and enrich your eventual marriage. So why is the topic of "sex" in marriage rarely
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To Trust or Not to Trust?One of the most challenging aspects of both online dating relationships and relationships in general is the topic of trust. Trust, from the Webster dictionary, is defined as "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc." In relationships, trust involves believing the other will uphold essential principles and values including sexual fidelity, respectful and civil treatment, and willingness and commitment to follow through with responsibilities such as church
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