A modern attitude in the world today is that marriage doesn’t matter. Accordingly, marriage rates around the globe are plummeting versus previous years and decades. Much of modern philosophy takes the position that marriage is just the subjugation of women. That it is limiting and just gets in the way of career development, travel, shopping, fun, hobbies, etc. That it just leads to having kids, which traps you, is a drag, and might be good to delay or forgo altogether. So as members of the church, what is our perspective? Why does marriage matter? Why is it so important? This brief article will review several reasons.
Why Marriage Matters
In no particular order, here are some reasons why marriage matters and is important to strive for:
*Children: in a family with a married father and mother (or a healthy remarriage), children have an ideal structure to support their wellness, their upbringing, and their teaching. Masculinity and femininity from parents each offer something different, positive, and complimentary. A marriage allows for children to be in a household where both a mother and father (or step mother/father) are regularly available to offer their support and direction. All very good for child growth and development.
*Roles: marriage allows for 2 people to consistently be home and fulfilling all of the adult roles needed to successfully and effectively run a house, support a family, and juggle careers. Whether a husband and wife fulfill the traditional primary roles outlined in The Proclamation to the World, or if husband and wife fulfill their roles in less traditional ways, either way, two adults in the home regularly fulfilling family roles is more than one. Income, yard maintenance, cooking and cleaning, watching the children, etc. More adults helping with all of this at home is better than less. That is a practical matter of math and sense.
*Eternal Progression: we understand religiously that God wants us to be married and this is essential to our eternal progression—ideally in the temple. This is the ideal structure the Lord recommends and he knows what is best for us. Here are a few scriptures to support the Lord’s support of marriage.
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
--Matthew 19:5-6
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.
--The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995
And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have call power, and the angels are subject unto them. Verily, verily, I say unto you, except ye abide my law ye cannot attain to this glory. For strait is the gate, and narrow the way that leadeth unto the exaltation and continuation of the lives, and few there be that find it, because ye receive me not in the world neither do ye know me. But if ye receive me in the world, then shall ye know me, and shall receive your exaltation; that where I am ye shall be also.
--Doctrine & Covenants 132:19-23
Final Thoughts:
The world largely dismisses marriage, even discourages marriage as interfering with happiness and enjoyment of life. Please do not heed this worldly philosophy. The Lord has made it clear to we members of the church that marriage is very important for practical, emotional, and spiritual reasons. Strive to find a quality spouse that is strong in the gospel and treats you well. Eventually you will have this in your life. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2019-06-16 | Randy Gilchrist | Marriage preparation |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).