Isaiah warned that in the latter days today, evil shall be called good and good shall be called evil (Isaiah 5:20, 2 Nephi 15:20). That concept covers many areas in life including things like gender differences, gender roles, and marriage. For instance, the world’s attitude towards gender today is largely focused on a rejection of traditional women’s roles and femininity as inferior, a focus on men acting more feminine, and women acting more masculine. Women are encouraged to work and be very career focused, put off marriage, delay or even avoid having children, and reject traditional femininity. Men are encouraged to support these developments and suppress their own masculinity as well to support women’s individual pursuits, even at the expense of marriage and family.
The world has especially cast a very cynical, negative eye towards marriage. Complaints given towards marriage today include attitudes that marriage just subjugates women, doesn’t work or last anyway, and is “old fashioned”. Living together is promoted over marriage. Having numerous sexual partners and avoiding monogamous commitment is also encouraged by the world. Husbands and fathers today are largely deemed irrelevant, even “in the way” of what women want for their lives. So marriage itself is often framed as limiting, even a bad thing.
In addition with men, marriage becomes scary as they see and hear of divorces, costly child and spousal support judgments, and the bulk of the blame for when the marriage doesn’t work out. So many men get cold feet with marriage today. Real life finances add to these concerns. So in short what used to be promoted as “happily ever after” and “riding off into the sunset” for both genders is now framed by the world as a joke and/or a risky and dangerous thing to be avoided and rejected. No wonder marriage rates are down, people are marrying later, and divorce rates remain high. If this is what you learn and hear about marriage from the world, it is understandable why both sides can struggle with the idea of taking the plunge.
Developing a Positive, Godly Attitude Towards Marriage:
In contrast to everything noted above, it is important to remember that the Lord himself created the institution of marriage from the beginning with Adam and Eve. This institution is the ideal and the goal to be happy and achieve our greatest potential.
In Genesis the Lord states:
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. ----Genesis 2:21-24
Furthermore Christ says,
…Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
--Matthew 19:4-6
So an important way to stave off the world’s attitude towards marriage and the opposite sex is to remember that marriage is the Lord’s ideal. He created marriage, he promotes marriage, and he and his principles are “the same yesterday, today, and forever” (I Nephi 10:18). In other words, marriage never becomes too old fashioned or out of date. Also, as you remember that marriage is the Lord’s institution, the world will never by definition be able to come up with an alternative relationship style that is superior. Remember that the Lord knows all things from the beginning (I Nephi 9:6). So doesn’t it naturally follow that whatever he creates and promotes is the ideal? Of course. So why does the world hate marriage? Because it is from the Lord and the world hates that which is from the Lord, including calling his good, evil.
Consider this scripture with the Lord’s words, including today’s worldly anti-marriage attitude:
If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
--John 15:18-20
Final Thoughts:
Marriage is the Lord’s ideal union and institution. Let’s trust him and accept and promote what he recommends. Let’s search to have this in our lives. Reject the world and remember the Lord’s ways are not the world’s ways. Trust that he knows all things and knows what is best for you. And that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.”
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2020-05-10 | Randy Gilchrist | Marriage preparation |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).