Why write an article on going on successful vacations together for the singles community? Because when you get married (or married again), vacations will be an important part of your lives together. As you know, some vacations are wonderful, positive experiences together, whereas others can be described as “disasters”. What makes for a positive, successful trip/vacation together? This article will review several useful tips, tools, and suggestions to do so. Traveling together really can reveal the best and worst of relationship partners. Therefore, to bring out the best in each other while traveling, consider incorporating some of these ideas.
Elements of Successful Vacations:
*It needs to be affordable. If you go on a vacation that is well above and beyond your financial budget and puts a notable strain on the household budget, this is a bad idea. The best way to know a vacation is financially affordable is that you have saved up for all of the expenses and the entire trip before you go. If you go of a trip on a credit card or by withdrawing household money was earmarked for household bills, you have now created a financial burden and problem for yourselves. The black cloud of debt will hang over the trip and lessen the enjoyment of everything you do together.
*Pick a place you both have an interest in. Discuss where to go together and decide on a place that respects what both sides want as a location. Consider where you will go and what you will be doing together. Are these places and activities that both like and want to do? Find this out and consider this before making your choice and finalizing plans. If you aren’t sure, you may wish to consult family and friends to help you brainstorm ideas. The most important thing is that the choice is made in a way that respects what both partners want and need in a trip. Create a win-win arrangement you can both truly enjoy.
*Stay positive. One mistake that many partners make on a trip comes from being negative. From one or both partners complaining, being critical, and being contentious. Yes, sometimes there will be stresses on a trip while going to different places and doing different things. Yet, when you both commit to staying positive, in spite of___, it greatly helps the trip be the enjoyable experience it was meant to be.
*Put away unresolved issues and grudges. When the focus of the trip is on having a good time, the results are good. However, if partners choose this time to bring up old unresolved issues, complaints, conflicts, and grudges with the other and this becomes the focus on the trip, it puts a big damper on the entire experience. Being on vacation is not the time to bring these things up. You have all of the time in the world to discuss these things later on after the trip. In short, you won’t enjoy your trip if you choose travel times to bring up the old gripes. Just, put it on the back burner for a while. Keep the focus on enjoyment.
*Consider the weather. Are you and your partner more “cold weather” people or “warm weather” people? Do you more like the snow or the sun? Whatever is your preference together, that is an important thing to consider while making plans. Because if you are on a vacation somewhere where you are disliking the weather and feeling too hot or too cold, that makes for a very unpleasant experience. And wherever you choose to go, please plan your dress accordingly.
*Decide on a mutual plan beforehand. Some people like to have a structured plan and schedule on a trip, whereas others like a more open-ended experience that is more spontaneous and free flowing. If you agree to be more spontaneous, the plans will be more general and flexible. Either way, decide on a loose or structured plan on where you will go and what you will do before the trip. Whatever your preference and travel style, create and agree to this plan ahead of time in a way you are both truly on board with.
Final Thoughts:
There is an old saying: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Plan and coordinate together. Get on the same page. Set yourselves up for success on your trip. Create a win-win experience you are both on board with that considers and respects both people in the equation. When you do, things should go well. If you do not, there is a much greater chance of things going poorly. And why travel to a distant place to have a negative experience when you could just do that here for less money? In sum, plan, discuss, agree, and set yourself up for success. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-02-28 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Communication, Conflict resolution |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).