Optimism is defined as follows (according to Google): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something. So, how can you be optimistic about your present and future with relationships and marriage, as well as life in general? And why would that be a helpful and important thing to do? That will be the focus of this article. First, being optimistic in your relationship approach is important because that will be the most effective approach possible. The more negative and cynical a person is, the more walls they will put up, the less relational efforts they will make, and the more healthy relationship opportunities that come along will be missed, avoided, or sabotaged. Simply put, we as people cannot connect and self-protect at the same time. It doesn’t work. So, the more our self-protect side dominates our approach to relationships, the less likely and able we will be to find and cultivate a good, new, healthy relationship opportunity. It is that simple.
Ways to be more optimistic:
*Improve your self-talk. The inner conversation and dialog you have regularly with yourself will be the single biggest determiner of how optimistic or cynical you will be about the opposite sex, relationships, and marriage. Therefore, the more positive, hopeful, and encouraging this dialog is, the more optimism will be the result with your attitude and feelings inside. Be aware of your constant inner dialog. Encourage yourself to be as positive and hopeful as you can. Catch yourself and correct your negative self-talk. Simply put, if you decide you dislike the opposite sex and look for the worst in them, that is what you will find. And poor or non-existent relationships will naturally follow. Conversely, when you decide you like the opposite sex and look for the best in them where you can, better quality relationship opportunities will be available more often. That which we focus on, we amplify. Remember that.
*Talk positively about the opposite sex and relationships to others. There is an old saying: “birds of a feather flock together”. And “water seeks its own level”. Finally, “like attracts like”. So, if your friends and family members regularly put down the opposite sex and are negative and cynical about relationships, you will be too. And of course, the more negative you are with others about the opposite sex, you strengthen that negativity inside yourself as well as with those around you. Sure, it might feel validating at the moment, but it puts you in a negative path of self-defeating results. Therefore, talk positively to others about the opposite sex, and seek out others who share the same positivity. You will all reinforce and strengthen each other on the subject. Remember the old saying: “nothing positive ever came from something negative”. And this truth is only amplified by whomever we spend our time with. So be careful about who you talk to or listen to about this subject.
*Listen to hypnosis to strengthen your optimism and positive attitude. Hypnosis is not magic, but it is a good, useful, effective tool to help your mentality and feelings condition towards the more ideal person you wish to be. You simply push play on a hypnosis audio while going to bed. And then as you relax, focus, and pay attention to the words that follow, your usual walls, resistances, and defenses against positive change lessen. Then you become more accepting and embracing of the positive suggestions for change that follow. Hearing such audios before bed (or at other times when you can close your eyes, relax, and focus) is a good, regular, effective way to support your positive change. The main site I recommend for decent quality, affordable hypnosis sessions is www.hypnosisdownloads.com. There are many sessions on many important subjects. However for the purposes of this article, I suggest these a few of these sessions to have better optimism:
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/personal-skills/optimism
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/thinking-skills/positive-thinking
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/10-steps/negativity
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/personal-skills/positive-attitude
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/hypnosis-packs/power-positivity
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/self-esteem/self-image
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/relationship-problems/give-love
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/negative-emotion
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/thinking-skills/negative-thinking
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/thinking-skills/self-talk
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/hypnosis-packs/less-negative
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/interpersonal-skills/negative-people
Final thoughts:
These three suggestions will help you to be more optimistic and positive, as well as less cynical and negative. Positivity attracts, negativity repels, and sabotages. Please work to build your positivity and optimism in your life to have the healthiest relationship opportunities and the best relational outcomes. Man and woman were created and meant to be together. To love, support, and compliment each other. Not to be enemies. Not to be in constant conflict. Also, we weren’t meant to be alone as people. So, if you are alone right now, a key to turn that around and have a healthy, happy relationship is to improve your attitude and outlook with the opposite sex and relationships. To be an optimist. Finally, remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2024-02-18 | Randy Gilchrist | Healthy relationships |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).