Today your online dating profile will go a long way to determine whether a dating prospect will consider you or not. Often, people will be turned off by your profile and either never give you a chance or they will ghost you after some brief exchanges if they don’t like what they see. Rarely will they ever let you know specifically why they lost interest. If the conversation was good but they still drop out of interacting with you, there is a decent chance the main reason was because of something they noticed on your profile. So, how can you strengthen and boost your online dating profile to help give you the best chance possible for others to give you a chance? Here are a few ideas and suggestions:
Online Dating Profile Tips:
*Use current, attractive, flattering pictures: put 5-10+ pictures up that clearly show your face and other pictures that show your body from head to toe. Don’t put other people in the pictures. You aren’t selling their interest in these other people. You are selling their interest in you! Dating prospects want to decide if they are physically attracted to you. If you have a few vague pictures, pictures only of your head, pictures of you in a crowd of people and/or where you are small, or distracting pictures of you in exotic locations, none of that clearly shows off you. Show yourself off, proudly. If they can’t tell what you look like, the assumption is that you are hiding your looks for a reason and they will be far less likely to give you a chance.
*Describe what you are looking for: give several clear lines regarding the kind of person you are looking for. Demonstrate that you have some clear and reasonable expectations. Too few or too high of expectations are a turn off. If too high, you will seem to tough to please. If your expectations are too low, you will seem needy, perhaps desperate. Seek for a moderate, reasonable middle ground. Describe the kinds of activities you would like to do with them, and any important, reasonable expectation that are “musts” for you in a tactful way.
*Describe what you have to offer to them: one of the biggest voids I have noticed in online dating profiles are when the profile goes on and on about what they expect from the other person, but gives little or no information about what they would have to offer the other person in the relationship. Sell yourself! What will you want to do for them and with them? What would everyday life be like with you? What things would have to offer them in general? Remember that you are selling yourself. If you don’t sell yourself, they probably won’t be interesting in buying, so to speak.
For possible ideas on what you may have to give and offer in a relationship, I recommend that you review and incorporate ideas from the appropriate gender specific article about what men and women tend to want, like, and need in a relationship:
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/what-do-men-want-3/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/what-do-women-want-2/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/acting-attractive-145/
*Answering Profile Questions: in your answers to specific profile questions about you and what your ideal mate would be (many online sites have these sections), be honest, but also remember that you are trying to attract someone. Be careful and selective with what you say. Try not to say anything that will obviously scare someone off. Many people give up getting to know someone because a simple profile answer scared them off.
*Talking About Kids: one of the biggest turnoffs in online dating is not that potential dating partners have kids necessarily, but the huge emphasis that is often stated on the kids. When a profile shows pictures of a person’s kids along with written descriptions of how they are the most important people in their life, how a dating partner would need to get their approval, how they are their everything, etc., etc., this can be a major turnoff. A new person doesn’t want to imagine potentially coming in to a new blended family as the 4th or 5th priority. In other words, when a new love interest can’t imagine how they would be able to break in and have a place in your life that highly dominated by the kids, he or she will likely move on.
Final Thoughts:
Again, the main thing to remember with your online dating profile is that you are selling yourself. You are in competition with thousands of other profiles also working to get attention. Stand out in these ways discussed and you will separate yourself from the pack and increase your dating opportunities. Put the time in. Find your new husband or wife. Because “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2019-03-25 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).