Online dating today is more than just the traditional online dating websites. There are also dating apps, social media forums, video games, and many other ways to meet and connect online. In most social sites online, a person has a profile of some kind that possesses valuable information that can help you learn whether or not they would make for a good pick to date and relationship partner. And what the profile doesn’t show, you can then tactfully research and inquire about before meeting. In this article, several ideas and suggestions will be given to help you best pick people online to date that possess the best potential to make for a healthy, happy relationship, possibly even marriage.
Signs and Clues Someone Is a Good Pick Online:
*Good Pictures: there are two main things that pictures can show you, First and obviously, several good clear pictures can show you whether or not you would be physically attracted to them. This is important. Because if you are not physically attracted to them to the needed degree, there will not be enough chemistry and spark between you both if you were to begin dating. A good rule of thumb: if you can’t imagine kissing them and liking it, pass. Secondly, look for signs in their pictures of happiness and kindness. Look for friendliness, perkiness, and smiles. Something that lets you know this is a happy, perky person most of the time that will add a positive connection and presence to your life. Look for a positive energy person. Conversely, if their pictures seem overly serious, pained, angry, or gloomy, you may want to pass on them. Pictures alone don’t tell the entire story but they can tell a lot.
*Compatible Lifestyle Traits: where are they at financially, geographically, educationally, and available time-wise? Where are they at with kids--#s of kids, ages, etc.? What is their coparenting arrangement if divorced and with kids? What are their hobbies, interests, passions, and other things they do to enjoy life? Do they have friends and spend time with friends? All of these kinds of details are important as you imagine trying to spend time together and attempting to blend lives, interests, duties, and obligations together. If you can’t reasonably imagine your lives somehow blending and working together, you probably should move on.
*Personality Traits: There are a number of positive personality traits and attributes that would likely indicate a person being a good choice for a relationship. Here are a number that I would recommend you look for that can indicate a good, healthy person: they talk in their profile about what they have to offer another in a relationship. They mention things like talking and listening (mutually), taking an interest in going new places and doing new things (that you may be into), giving massages, doing charity work, and any other attribute showing giving, a focus on other people, and openness to new and different experiences. A giving person is usually a good quality person. Conversely, selfishness is the great destroyer of relationships (as pointed out by President Hinkley), so beware of people like that.
*Spirituality: As fellow members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it is important to assess whatever level the other person is (or is not at) spiritually. Even though it can be a good to find a strong person spiritually, in actuality, relationships do best when you match with someone roughly at your level of spirituality. That way, imbalances and the friction that comes with them are less. So, if you would like to find and have a strongly spiritual person in your life, it is important to first be a person like that. Then, look for another like that from there. For more ideas about spirituality and relationship choice, feel free to refer to this previous article: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/spiritual-standards-in-dating-151/
*Activities and Interests in Common: Although having joint interests in common is helpful, useful, and attractive, it is generally not as important as the other things listed in this article. Still, having similar interests together is a definite plus. It gives you a built-in ease with future joint bonding activities. Learning about joint interests and activities can be easily noticed in their profile pictures and in their written description. Other interests can be learned through written and verbal chats with them as you ask them questions from there. Disclaimer: not having a lot of similar interests isn’t necessarily a deal breaker. When people are kind, considerate, and other-oriented, such differences can be navigated and worked through.
Final Thoughts:
You can pick a good quality person with some care, thought, and strategy. Look for a good quality, giving person. Also, choose a person that you are also attracted to as well. Look for both and things to be successful in picking a winner online. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2021-10-03 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Marriage preparation |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).