A lot of times, singles feel they are passed over or put into the “friendzone” because they are either not physically attractive enough and/or don’t make enough money to attract/keep another person. That may or may not be true, depending on a person’s individual circumstance and situation. But beyond those two attraction elements, another important element is, are you fun, exciting, entertaining, and enjoyable to be around and interact with? When not, you might be hit with the tough label of being too “boring”. Ouch. I know that is a hard word to deal with. However, if you are a more boring person, your dating opportunities will be limited or at worst, non-existent. Learning how to be more fun, exciting, and entertaining are excellent traits to work on and develop that will boost your dating and relationship stock. Conversely, ignore working on this trait at your own risk. Being boring is a dating and relationship killer. I’m just that messenger with that reality, trying to help you out and have more relational success. But please accept this reality as true, and address accordingly.
*4 Ideas to Become More Interesting and Entertaining:
Conversational Skills: The most common way that people are determined to be “boring” comes with their general conversational style. If a person can’t hold and keep a conversation going, only wants to talk about themselves, and/or is strongly opinionated and likes to argue, they will repel others. Poor conversational abilities make a person boring, even repelling. If you see conversational skills as just that—a skill to develop and improve, you will greatly benefit and your relationship life will notable improve. Conversely, if you conclude, “oh well, that’s just my personality”, as if there is nothing you can do about it, you will keep struggling relationally and things will keep not working and happening. For more ideas on improving your conversational abilities, see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/dating-small-talk-160/.
Confidence: A boring person often come across as having a lack of confidence, being insecure, and/or questioning themselves. Oftentimes such individuals slouch, look down, have poor posture, mumble, and/or slow other nonverbal messages of submission or deference. Conversely, a confident person will show the opposite. A confident person talks in a forthright, assertive fashion. They carry themselves with upright, good posture, they talk with open body language, and show in general they believe in themselves and what they are saying and doing. Think of it this way, if you come across as a person who doesn’t believe in themselves, why would or should another person believe in you or give you a chance? They wouldn’t. For more ideas of confidence, see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/attraction-on-display-danny-and-sandy-273/.
Hobbies and Interests: People who have no hobbies and interests--besides perhaps the other person--will soon be deemed as boring. Think about it: if you don’t do anything for fun, you probably won’t be a fun or an interesting person in general. Therefore, if you don’t have any personal hobbies or interests, it would be a great idea to start developing them--now. To figure out what hobbies to do, a good place to begin is to examine your past. What have you enjoyed doing in the past? Even back as a child growing up? Maybe it is time to revisit that and do it again. If you still can’t think of what hobbies to do now, you can also try something new. What hobbies do your friends, family, and coworkers do? Anything interesting you could do too? You can also Google hobbies to help brainstorm additional ideas. Please do not neglect this area or you WILL come across as boring.
Sense of Humor: An important component of conversational ability is the ability to have and show a good sense of humor. This includes the ability to flirt, to appropriately self-depreciate, tell jokes well, be silly, show appropriate sarcasm, smile, laugh, and so on. A person with a poor or absent sense of humor also WILL come across as boring. Like a dry documentary on the television. Or paint drying on the wall. Don’t expect the other person to do all of the heavy lifting in the humor department. Develop this yourself. There are a number of helpful things you can do to strengthen this area. For more information, see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/developing-a-sense-of-humor-180/.
Final Thoughts:
Please, please, please do not be boring. Work to be the opposite. Otherwise, it will hurt or even ruin your dating prospects. Money and looks will only go so far as attractors. What you are like with your interactions together matter a great deal. Be interesting, entertaining, fun, and endearing. Work on it. It is a choice and skill. Make a decision to improve this and work on it regularly. If you do, you will increase your dating prospects and chances for relational success. If you fail to work on this then negative, frustrating consequences will surely follow. Be strategic and give yourself every advantage possible. And remember “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-04-17 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).