A sensitive subject for single members in the dating arena concerns their own and another’s present and future financial situation. In other words, money. Truth be told, we have often heard some confusing ideas, advice, and suggestions on the subject. On one hand, people may tell you things like “money isn’t everything”, “money doesn’t but happiness”, or “a lot of rich people are jerks”. Conversely, we logically know inside that how much money (and/or debt) a person has, their credit score, and their income potential for the future all matter with practical security, stability, and lifestyle freedom. This includes the flexibility and independence to do what you want to do, when and how you want to do it. So, how do you cut through this confusion and maintain a healthy attitude on the subject of money and relationships? And, what is the proper attitude?
Step 1: Acknowledge What Money is Important For--and No More
Here are a few scriptures/quotes regarding the practice importance of money:
First, the 1996 “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” clarifies the importance of providing for the needs of the entire family, which of course involves and requires earning and being prudent with money.
Parents have a sacred duty to rear to…provide for their (children’s) physical needs…By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
A few other scriptures about the importance of money:
Providing for one’s family is essential:
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
--I Timothy 5:8
Regarding the printing of the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smither received a revelation describing getting out of debt as getting out of “bondage”, illustrating the need for us to ideally do so as well:
Pay the debt thou hast contracted with the printer. Release thyself from bondage.
--Doctrine & Covenants 19:35
Finally, money itself is not a problem and as has already been illustrated, is essential to providing. Instead, the attitude we have towards money is what we need to be careful about. We need to put our love and obedience towards God above our love of money, but at the same time earn money and pay off debt:
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.
--I Timothy 6:10-12
Step 2: Remember What Matters Most
A classic quote from President Benson can be applied to money and materialism. In our quest to earn money, provide for our families, and pay off debt, we need to maintain the proper attitude with our ultimate priorities:
When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.
--President Ezra Taft Benson, The Great Commandment—Love the Lord, General Conference, April 1988.
Final Thoughts
Research and practical experience has shown that monetarily, couples often do well when paired with someone of a similar economic background, whatever that level is, in combination with the proper Godly attitudes towards money and providing. In other words, someone can “love money more than God” or “Love God more than money”, whatever their income level happens to be. It isn’t what you have, it is the attitude you have about what you have. More money means more freedom, independence, and flexibility with what you do and where you do it, but that is about all. So strive to be in a good financial place, find another in a similar way, and keep God as the main important priority throughout. That Godly approach to money is what will help us be the happiest and healthiest we can be. Because “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.”
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
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| 2020-01-12 | Randy Gilchrist | Healthy relationships, Finance |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).