It is interesting. I have been doing psychotherapy with individuals, couples, and families since 1997. Over these many years I have seen numerous trends and developments, some good and some not so good. One trend that I would say has gone from bad to worse is the general relationships today between men and women. With each passing month and year, it seems the general animosity, resentment, suspicion, blame, and misunderstanding between both sides has gotten worse and worse. Why is this and what can be done about it?
Well, there are probably numerous causes and contributors. The main culprit, if I was to choose one, is the media. News, social media, TV, movies, books and magazines, etc., usually paint male/female relationships in a certain slanted way. Mostly, these relationships are presented and described in negative ways, full of fighting, friction, resentment, conflict, and so on. Now, why would the media paint male/female relationships this way? The main reason that makes sense to me is for ratings/viewers/listeners/readers. Conflict and contention pulls people in. And so the more the media can describe male/female relationships in this negative way, the more money the media can demand from their advertisers from their higher ratings. There is an old saying: follow the money. I think it definitely applies here. The more division and contention that exists between the sexes, the more money the media can earn from it because it’s good for business. But what can you do to not be a part of this destructive trends?
Bucking the trend: liking, appreciating, and supporting the opposite sex:
*Pick carefully. Try to find and date others who already appreciate and like the opposite sex. That’s a good start. In a previous article, I wrote about “Finding Someone who Appreciates the Opposite Sex”. That can be a good start. You can check that out at: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/finding-someone-who-appreciates-the-opposite-sex-325/. When choosing a partner who basically feels good about and towards your gender, your prospects for a healthy and happy relationship together are much greater. That makes obvious sense.
*Practice admiring the opposite sex. Make a decision that you will choose, from here on out, to appreciate and admire the opposite sex as much as possible. When you make a choice to do so, you can then practice this way of considering others of another gender. You can also check out this previous article, directly on this subject: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/admiring-the-opposite-sex-209/.
*Understand the spiritual roots of the problem. Remember that in the last days, evil will be called good and good will be called evil (Isaiah 5:20). This is all a part of Satan’s plan to disrupt marriage and family life, and he has been pretty effective at doing so. Please don’t buy into that evil attitude of antagonism towards the opposite sex.
We learn from the 1995 Proclamation to the World that gender roles and differences are divinely assigned and are a good, complimentary thing. Accordingly, we learn the following:
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
Gender, marriage, and relationships in general have been put down and pressured against by the world and society today. It is important to not buy into these worldly ideas and remember that marriage is a divine institution developed by God. Simply put, man and woman are meant to be together. For further ideas on not buying into the worldly attitudes that exist out there against masculinity, femininity, and marriage, feel free to check out previous related articles on the subject at:
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/worldly-attitudes-on-marriage-274/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/a-world-hostile-to-marriage-140/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/valuing-femininity-114/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/appreciating-masculinity-306/
*“Be a critical consumer of information”. This was a quote I remember from my days at Brigham Young University in the mid-1990s. The idea was associated with regular research article critiques my professors had us review. The goal: rather than believing everything we come across, become more careful and critical with what worldly ideas you accept, embrace, and agree with. Just because someone said it doesn’t make it true. You can ask yourself, “how well do these ideas coincide with what I know from the gospel?” Truth with result in gospel ideas and worldly knowledge coinciding well together. However, when there is a large discrepancy and even contradiction between the two, I suggest stepping back from that worldly information, leave it alone, and move on.
Final Thoughts:
There is a lot of animosities today between men and women, as fueled by the media and other places financially profiting from this. In a general sense, we can understand this as coming from Satan who is trying to frustrate married and family life for us all. I encourage you to think the best of the opposite sex, value marriage as an institution, and reject the worldly attitudes and teaching going against gospel principles. Life will go much better for you as you do. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-11-12 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Conflict resolution |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).