In the 2020s and beyond, online dating is only getting bigger and bigger. Time limitations, geography, and many other challenges have made the convenience, flexibility, and quantity of options have helped make online dating more popular than ever. What was once seen as “desperate” is now common, acceptable, and destigmatized. In short, online dating is here to stay. There are traditional online dating websites, dating apps, and online forums and groups to choose from. Whatever your choice of online dating options, how you present yourself in your profile will greatly determine others’ interest and whether they will give you a chance to interact, connect, and possibly meet up. Therefore, several tips and suggestions will be given here to assistant you in your personal profile.
Dating Profile Tips and Suggestions:
*Remember that your job is to sell yourself. It is true that online dating is a meat market. A competition. So what? It is what it is. That’s life. You and many other people have profiles up, selling yourself, trying to outdo others. You are trying to impress and convince someone to take an interest in you and interact with you. This is why showing your best side and selling your best self is so important. In a good relationship, we value another’s positive side, while also tolerating their dark side and negatives: their issues, problems, hang-ups, etc. However, people will not give you a chance if you take too much of a “truth in advertising” approach—openly showing off and stating your issues and problems. Being too quickly to reveal your baggage and problems. There is time in the future to slowly get into all of that. However, initially, show off and emphasize your positive side. Start there for better results.
For more information on disclosure of problems and issues when getting to know someone, see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/to-disclose-or-not-to-disclose-105/
*Show some good pictures. Initially, what you look like and how you look is one of the bigger determiners of interaction opportunity (or lack thereof). Therefore, posting a variety of attractive and flattering pictures of yourself is important. Having a few full body shots is important. Some clearly showing your face helps. Show some with yourself smiling and having some fun is good too. Usually, it is best to show few or no pictures with other people. They don’t care to see your family and friends. They just want to see you. Plus, the more other people or pets you show, the more people wonder how they would fit into your life and perhaps would be a lower priority in your life. Showing just yourself shows that you are more emotionally open and available, secure, and ready to commit to the right other person.
*Clarify not only what you are looking for, but also what you have to offer. Too often people make the mistake online of only describing what they want and are looking for in another, rather than saying what they have to offer another person. List, describe, and emphasize your good points of what you to offer to another with your activities, your affection, your conversation and listening, etc. Instead of just giving a shopping list of everything you are looking for in another—which many do—balance that with what you will offering them. Remember, people are most motivated by what will be in it for them. Let them know. Sell yourself and why it would be great for them to be with you.
*Add some video clips. A daring way to present yourself is by adding one or more solo videos of yourself in your profile. Suggestion: spend about a minute or two stating what you are looking for and what you have to offer. Talk in a warm, inviting, friendly way. Be perky. Let them see your personality. Before talking and video chatting together, this allows others to get a great preview of what you are about in real life. It also shows security and confidence to be willing to do this, and it will definitely help you stand out.
*In your written description, include anything about yourself that is interesting and/or a good selling point. Whether it relates to your career, income, kids, pets, travels, interests, activities, hobbies, etc., state and list whatever will reasonably impress another. Don’t be shy or bashful, but also don’t come across as overly conceited. Remember: if you don’t sell yourself here, no one else will. This isn’t about bragging. This isn’t you being a narcissist. It is about your standing out and getting the chance to interact with as many other dating prospects as possible. Sell yourself in a smart, reasonable way.
Final Thoughts:
Please approach online dating and your dating profile in a positive, hopeful, optimistic way. So much negativity exists out there in many profiles. Don’t be like them. Show others you are positive, emotionally available, and someone others would want to get to know. And remember, “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2021-09-19 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).