Single? LDS? Wanting to attract more dating partners, hopefully, eventually a future spouse? Then the truth is that you will attract others more if you work on being more…attractive. I know it sounds obvious. However, a good number of singles have grown lax, even lazy with their efforts to be attractive, yet they wonder why they have few if any dates. Being attractive matters. It provides many more initial opportunities. So, how does a person "become more attractive"? Here are a few ideas. These ideas may seem obvious, but please ask yourself: "how well am I strongly and consistently making these efforts?" Where room for improvement exists, please apply all of these ideas in a regular, consistent, moderate fashion. Just do your reasonable best.
Looks
Simply put, there are four main ways to help improve your physical looks. Eat better, exercise more, maintain a good sleep schedule, and be fashionable. The foods you eat will help you weigh the proper weight for your height, as well as boost your health, mood, and energy. Exercise will also boost your health, mood, and energy, as well as shape, tone, and contour your body. Two excellent resources to help you with eating better and exercising habits and routines (and losing weight as needed) are the following: The New Abs Diet (or, just for women, The New Abs Diet for Women) by David Zinczenko, and Your Body is Your Barbell by BJ Gaddour. Furthermore, good restful sleep will help you be more alert, fresh, attentive, and alive. Finally, being conscious of your fashion (and makeup/jewelry for women) will help you stand out and bring more looks and positive attention your way.
Looks matter. Eventual potential romance and passion require there to be at least a certain level of physical attraction, and the more physically attractive you look, the more potential dating partners can imagine themselves with you physically, and hence are far more likely to give you a chance at dating them. If this straight talk on looks upsets you on this subject, I am sorry and that is not the intent. I am just the messenger. Ignore the power, importance, and relevance of looks in the dating arena at your own peril. Please work and this regularly and consistently (yet moderately, not obsessively).
Attitude
The happier, friendlier, perkier, and energetic that you can come across, the more likely you will be to attract others and get positive reactions from them. The more positive and optimistic you can be, the better. The more positive the attitude you can demonstrate towards the dating process and the opposite sex, the better. Practice smiling, taking an interest in what others say and do, and enjoy yourself as often as possible. Be someone others want to be with and around. Be magnetic and show some charm and charisma. Remember that positivity attracts and negativity repels. Be aware of your facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, along with the words you speak. Show others the kind of positive attitude that you would be attracted to yourself. Finally, remember that a negative attitude repels a potential dating partner and a positive attitude attracts a potential dating partner.
Practicalities
Get yourself as practically together as possible in preparation for hopefully imminent dating, engagement, and marriage. Pay off debt, finish college, establish your career. Get and keep a temple recommend and establish regular habits of scripture study, prayer, church attendance, and fulfillment of callings. Save money. Decorate and furnish your house or apartment in a way another could potentially move in. Socialize regularly and be around other singles as often as you reasonably can. Flirt and be friendly. Study and educate yourself on gender differences, relationships, and communication skills. Decent resources for this include How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray, and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman.
In other words, do your best to practically position yourself as well as possible so that when the right person comes along for dating and marriage, you will be as ready as possible to take the next step. Make the future transition as easy and smooth as possible. A person who is practically ready for marriage is definitely attractive to potential daters.
Final Thoughts
If you would like more dating and chances for marriage, the two things you can do are to move to an area with plenty of single LDS members, and then make yourself as attractive as possible. Moving to such an area (such as Utah, Arizona, or Idaho) may not be a reasonable option for you. However, everyone can make themselves more attractive. Doing all of these suggestions to make yourself more attractive is worth it to give yourself the best chance possible for dating and marriage success.
Because "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Sincerely,
Dr. G
**To readers: to submit a question to Dr. G for a future Q and A column, please send your questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Also, please register for a free account at www.ldsdimension.com for access to previous and future Dr. G articles.
| 2017-04-17 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Health and fitness |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).