When one’s relationship life has included difficult breakups, hurt, disappointment, and even trauma, it very understandable that people may lose hope in having and retaining a committed relationship. Does this describe you? Do you feel “snakebitten” from previous relationships? Does the hurt from whatever you have been through make you second guess whether you can make a future relationship worse? If so, then it may be worth your while to strengthen your hope in the future. Because if you don’t have faith in having another relationship, the chances of it happening are…much lower to say the least. Therefore, it can be a good exercise to increase your hope to find and keep a future partner and marriage. This article will examine a few ideas to help you to do this.
From the official church website, we learn the following about hope:
“Hope is the confident expectation of and longing for the promised blessings of righteousness…When we have hope, we trust God’s promises. We have a quiet assurance that if we do “the works of righteousness,” we “shall receive [our] reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:23). Mormon taught that such hope comes only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ: “What is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise” (Moroni 7:41). As we strive to live the gospel, we grow in our ability to “abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost” (Romans 15:13). We increase in hope as we pray and seek God’s forgiveness.
(Source: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/hope?lang=eng).
Because eternal marriage and exaltation is the ultimate blessing we can hope for (after forgiveness for our sins), having hope for this blessing either sooner or later is an important trait to possess to help us get there. Sometime everyone who wants this blessing will have the opportunity for it, whether in this life or the next.
Ideas to increase hope:
*Learning: When you learn more about healthy relationships, you can hope to better pick and nourish future relationships increase accordingly. To learn about healthy relationships, there are good research-based materials, as well as spiritually based materials. For research-based information, I mainly recommend works from Dr. John Gottman, top expert in marital research out of the University of Washington. A good representation of his materials is his foundational book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. For spiritual materials, there are many quality church-based conference talks and books you can refer to. As a starter I recommend the written description given on the church website on how to nurture healthy marriage relationships:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/the-eternal-family-teacher-manual/lesson-18-nurturing-the-marriage-relationship?lang=eng
*Remember promised blessings: we have the promise that when we are righteous and desire having an eternal companion, we will eventually be given that opportunity. This has already been alluded to in the previously quoted scripture that, “We have a quiet assurance that if we do “the works of righteousness,” we “shall receive [our] reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:23).” Furthermore, we have this encouraging quote: “Many of the most important deprivations of mortality will be set right in the Millennium, which is the time for fulfilling all that is incomplete in the great plan of happiness for all of our Father’s worthy children. We know that will be true of temple ordinances. I believe it will also be true of family relationships and experiences.”—Elder Dallin H Oaks, The Great Plan of Happiness, General Conference, October 1993.
*Be righteous: All blessings we receive as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are contingent to our personal worthiness as we repent and keep the commandments. We learn the following from the scriptures: “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”—Doctrine & Covenants 82:10. In addition, “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.”—Doctrine & Covenants 130:20-21.
Final Thoughts:
Hope is an essential trait for singles to find, nurture, and maintain a future healthy marriage. Hope is a positive trait leading to action, energy, confidence, and power. Please work to increase your hope. It will greatly serve you to find and nurture your future marriage. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-08-21 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Healthy relationships |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).