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Being Attracted to the Bad Boyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) So, what is it about the "bad boy"? How is it that such guys are often so attractive to so many women, both in and out of the church? Knowing that they are "trouble", how is it that so many still seem to command so much attention and attraction? What is so exciting about troubled men, when other often nicer and more respectful men are deemed too "boring", "nice", or deemed "just friends"? How is this
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Would the Grass be Greener in Another Relationship?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) When considering someone to date, when in a dating relationship, when engaged or especially when married, a normal human tendency both in and out of the church is to wonder if "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence". In other words, we wonder if another relationship besides what we are in would be better. Maybe someone else would be better looking, nicer, richer, more fun, better with
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Giving Apologiesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) An apology is, by definition, "a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure". A couple of scriptures supporting the concept of apologies are as follows: "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." --Matthew 5:9 "For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin." --Psalms 38:18 Most of us learned growing up that when we wrong another
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Poor Marriage Role Modelsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Research and clinical experience show that children of highly troubled marriages--whether or not they stayed together or eventually divorced--are at a notably higher risk of future relationship problems themselves. Marital problems often leading to role modeling challenges include divorce, communication problems, conflict resolution issues, gender attitudes, disrespect, verbal or physical abuse, etc.
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Developing a Positive Attitude with Datingby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Single and LDS? Tired of the singles scene? Tired of the meat market? Then you are not alone. Many others in your situation have similar feelings. Perhaps previous dating has been unsuccessful. Maybe you have been let down, hurt, or frustrated in the past. It could be that previous promising relationships ended poorly and left you negative and pessimistic with the dating scene. Maybe after a
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How to use Facebook effectively to meet peopleMy husband and founder of LDS Dimension, Shawn Gordon, and I also run a group on Facebook called LDS Dating, which provides another way to meet and interact with people. After watching and helping many people meet both here and there, we have talked about things that can help people be more successful in our Facebook group. Here is the list we put together. 1.DO get involved in conversations on posts. This allows you to see who has similar ideals as yourself and may lead to continuing
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Is He or She Compatible?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Dating in the LDS community is flush with emotion. Is he or she the right one? Are we really compatible? Should we get engaged? How can I know for sure? These are critical questions. No pressure, but consider this classic general authority quote from President Gordon B. Hickley: “The Lord has ordained that we should marry, that we shall live together in love and peace and harmony.… The time will
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Judgement is not a 4 letter wordThis might be the most oft quoted and wrongly applied part of the Holy Bible: Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version (KJV) 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? I’m not sure how it is in Evangelical Christian circles, but in LDS circles, people throw
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Sexual Dysfunction in Marriageby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we have all probably heard the rule of thumb in regards to the law of chastity: complete abstinence before marriage, complete fidelity after marriage. Solo sexual outlets such as pornography or masturbation are a big no no as well. Young men and women growing up in the church hear regular talks and direction on guarding their virtue, and that sex outside of marriage is the third most
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Forgiving and Letting GoForgiveness means something a little different when we talk about spiritual forgiveness versus psychological forgiveness. Both are important in a different way. From the lds.org topics section (https://www.lds.org/topics/forgiveness?lang=eng), forgiveness is defined as follows: "To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. The scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. The Lord commands us to repent of our sins and seek His
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Mind Reading in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender
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Is Love Online Possible?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but
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Overcoming Pornographyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I introduced pornography as the immense problem it is today, especially with boys and men. In this follow up article, I will review some simple, practical ideas you can use to prevent and overcome the problem of watching pornography. As an LDS psychologist, I've helped many members overcome this addiction over the years at LDS Family Services and in my private practice. In
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Pornography: A Big Problemby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Pornography is a bigger problem today than it's ever been in the existence of mankind. Never before have pornographic images and videos been so conveniently and pervasively available. Pornography is just a few clicks or key words away on smart phones, tablets, and computers. In addition, movies, television, magazines, billboards, and many other mediums make pornography so easily and readily available
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Self-Esteem: It Mattersby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In psychology, self-esteem is defined by the Webster dictionary as "a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities". In other words, having self-esteem is having value and confidence towards yourself to be able to handle the rigors and disappointments of life. Sometimes as LDS members, we hear that we shouldn't strive for self-esteem, or that having self-esteem is bad or prideful. In
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Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As an extension of the article I wrote last week with the same title, I thought that this was an important enough topic to write more about, given many common misconceptions, dissatisfaction, and dysfunction existing in the area of sex lives amongst fellow LDS members. Once again, I will use the word "sex" instead of "intimacy" to make it very clear what I am referring to so there is no
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