In previous articles I have written about trying to work through past hurts and pains to help you get out there dating and trying again for a new relationship. See: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/snake-bitten-150 and https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/getting-ready-for-another-relationship-111. Those are good articles if you need some direction, support, and ideas to work through your past hurts and issues. To compliment those ideas, I thought that I would create a little article with some of my favorite various quotes and short ideas I often share with singles to help them get out there again and make it happen:
*Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
*He/she who hesitates is lost.
*Why not go out on a limb? That’s where all the fruit is.
*If you keep doing what you are doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
*Would you be attracted to you? Improve yourself until you are.
*If you put out positive energy, you will attract. Focus on that.
*The story you tell yourself about your dating situation will go a long way to determine how successful you will be. Don’t like your situation? Create a better story.
*You know your situation. What advice would you give to you to succeed? Let yourself know and do it. Knowing alone isn’t enough. It’s about massive action.
*When you were dating successfully before, what were you like? Your success wasn’t an accident. Work to be THAT person again.
*In dating, people give to the greedy, not the needy. Carry yourself with social confidence that people will be drawn to.
*Don’t wait for someone to find you. That could be a long wait. Go on the hunt and find them. Be proactive.
*Why would someone want to date you? If you can’t find a reason, make some. Make yourself desirable.
*God is not a dating delivery service. He wants you to go out and find them. Pray for guidance and support, but don’t expect a delivery.
*Not attracting winners? Be a winner and work to attract and choose likewise.
*If it is to be, it’s up to me.
*Be sociable. Regularly approach and introduce yourself to others. Don’t wait for others to approach you.
*80% of a relationship is the pick, the rest are the efforts you make from there. Are you picking well?
*Pick well, nurture well, have a happy, healthy relationship.
*Life was meant to be lived, not avoided in fear. Get out and live it.
*What would your future self in 10 years suggest to you right now? To avoid and hide, or to get out there and make it happen?
*Be the you now that the future you will be proud of.
*Carry yourself with confidence. That is a lot of it right there.
*What did your exes find attractive about you? Get that back. What did your exes not like about you? Change that. Look for common themes. That is useful information.
*What do most people say about you? If you don’t like it, what do you need to do to change and improve the narrative?
*Not ready to date yet? Don’t force it, but do something about it. Heal. Grieve. Get support and help. Ready yourself to go back out into the fray.
*Look to enhance another’s life, not rescue or be rescued. Those aren’t the roles of a dating partner.
*Find and pick a healthy person. If you feel bad for others with struggles, don’t date them. They aren’t ready and able. Instead go volunteer at a local charity if you need to get your helping needs met. But don’t date unhealthy strugglers or you will be in for more hurt.
*Do your family and friends all seem to share certain similar concerns about you in relationships? Pay attention to them and make changes accordingly. Their observations aren’t a coincidence.
*Others are having healthy, happy relationships right now. Why not you? Decide and act.
*How did people do it successfully in the past? You can do that too, but you need to approach it the way they did. Don’t know how? Study and look to role models.
*I am a big believer in luck. The harder I work, the luckier I get.
*Approach dating like a part time job that includes part of your day 7 days a week.
*MOST IMPORTANTLY--Keep a positive attitude about dating and relationships no matter what. Nothing positive ever came from a negative attitude.
Final Thoughts
I have used these various quotes and ideas with singles for many years. The main idea is to be proactive and positive. Don’t wait, don’t hope someone will approach you and make it happen. Those who hunt are more successful than those who hope someone will kick their door down and find them. Assume…they won’t. Make yourself known. Go make it happen. This is how it was meant to be. Because "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Sincerely,
Dr. G
INFO FOR READERS--
*To submit a question for a future Q & A column or to request a possible future article subject, contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
***Do you struggle with pornography or another addictive tendency? Do you struggle with eating issues or want to lose weight? Anxiety issues? Other issues, challenges, or problems? Consider my special custom hypnosis recording service for fellow LDS members only, available worldwide by online delivery. A powerful, effective, convenient tool for change. Learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds or email me questions at drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Completely private and confidential.
| 2018-12-10 | Randy Gilchrist |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).