As a single member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it would be well worth your while to have a current temple recommend and regularly attend to the temple. Regular temple attendance would bless you with having the Spirit more often, which will help you be happy now and prepare you spiritually for your future marriage. Temple attendance will also help ease your emotional pains and scars from the past. Finally, going to the temple regularly will remind you of the eternal importance and nature of marriage and relationships between men and women. In short, man and woman are meant to be married and together. That is how it has always been from the beginning. The problem is…people tend to have a lot of reasons, challenges, and roadblocks for not getting a temple recommend. The purpose of this article will be to review the most common blocks to getting a temple recommend so you can get your recommend anyway. And then once you get it, use it.
Common Reasons for Not Getting a Recommend:
Church Attendance: In order to have a current temple recommend, you need to regularly attend your two-hour church meetings every Sunday. If this is a challenge for you, just remember it’s only 2 hours a week. This is not a big commitment, but it is a very important commitment. Taking the sacrament every week is a renewal of your baptismal covenants that helps you become clean and ready for the upcoming week. If you don’t like certain people there, remember, you don’t have to be everyone’s best friend. Just be civil and respectful. Somehow you got through going to 7 hours a day in high school. If you could do that back then, you can also attend 2 hours a week at church, no matter how you feel about church.
Chastity and/or Word of Wisdom Issues: Masturbation, pornography, petting, and/or having other direct sexual relations with another may be keeping you from getting a recommend. The same with using alcohol, tobacco, using illicit drugs, etc. So…what are you doing to work on your law of chastity/Word of Wisdom related issues? Because you need to DO something about the problem and not assume it will go away on its own. Work at it and do whatever it takes. Learn some self-discipline, self-control and impulse control. Learn to overcome the problems, whatever they are. Learn to “bridle your passions” and overcome the “natural” or “carnal” man, so to speak.
You can talk to the bishop for advice, have a blessing, and get a personalized program to work on your challenges. That is a good place to start. You can also utilize self-help materials as well. For chastity problems, I recommend Clean Hands, Pure Heart by Philip A. Harrison. (See: https://www.amazon.com/Clean-Hands-Pure-Heart-Pornography/dp/1930738196/ref=sr_1_1). For Word of Wisdom issues, I recommend The Addiction Recovery Workbook by Paula Freedman. (See: https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Recovery-Workbook-Powerful-Preventing/dp/1641521171/ref=sr_1_6).
Finally, you may try hypnosis. Some chastity related hypnosis audio sessions that you might consider are:
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/porn-addiction
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/masturbation-addiction
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/hypnosis-packs/sex-obsession
And some Word of Wisdom related issues include:
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/hypnosis-packs/alcohol-abuse
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/quit-smoking/smoking
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help
Tithing: Are you unable or unwilling to pay a full and an honest tithing? Which is it, honestly? Everyone has a particular, specific circumstance with money-related issues. Whatever issues and challenges may be in this area, they may be best approached with the help of a bishop who can review your options. Please don’t assume it is impossible without trying. Don’t give up. Go to your bishop, explain, and see what comes of your meeting.
Final Thoughts:
I recommend you review the current temple recommend questions and become familiar with whatever your personal reasons and roadblocks are that prevent you from getting a recommend. You can review the current recommend questions at: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2019/11/57nelson. I believe there is also a section of the online church handbook with the temple recommend questions listed there. However, that link was not easily found by me at the time of this writing. Therefore, please refer to the Liahona article above, which should be more than adequate.
In spite of whatever your issues and problems are that make getting a recommend challenging for you, please make an appointment to meet with the bishop to begin pursuing a recommend. He can then understand what is keeping you from a recommend and help you develop a plan to for success from there. Remember, the journey of 1000 miles begins with 1 step. And the destination is worth the journey, whatever it takes. Don’t assume you can’t do it. Start working towards it now, and you will eventually get there. Because remember, men and women were meant to be together: “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2021-10-16 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Spirituality |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).