by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist
www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site)
In today's world, modern philosophy and attitudes on gender roles and differences can be basically deduced to the idea that "men and women are the same, we have just had some different socialization (environmental learning). However, as a clinical psychologist, as a marriage & family therapy and as a fellow LDS member, I know that this is a false concept. A "philosophy of man". Men and women are indeed inherently, instinctively, biologically, and spiritually different. Ignore these differences at your own risk as you navigate the challenging world of dating and marriage. Conversely, as you learn about and incorporate a basic understanding of common gender differences, this knowledge will empower you to better understand and interact with the opposite sex, which gives a tremendous advantage with your future life with a member of the opposite sex.
Gender Roles
Men and women were created differently from the beginning, and given different roles to perform. These gender differences were clarified to Adam and Eve by the Lord in the Garden of Eden after they partook of the forbidden fruit and were cast into the lone and dreary world, thus beginning mortality:
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. --Genesis 3:16-19
From the beginning, man was given the primary role and charge to provide for and protect the family and woman was given the primary role to bear, nurture, and raise children. The husband as the priesthood holder was the act as the head of the family to receive direction and leadership for the family. The idea that gender and gender differences are real, important and essential is pointed out in The Family: A Proclamation to the World: ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
For more information and church clarification on the gender roles of men and women, please read The Family: A Proclamation to the World in its entirety from www.lds.org.
Gender Differences
As a support to complement and enhance the fulfillment of the differing roles men and women are to fulfill in mortality, certain biological, instinctive gender differences exist between men and women. To a degree these differences are influenced by and vary by a person's time of living and their particular culture, as well as differences depending on the individual. However, these basic gender differences remain nevertheless. Much of today's literature will simply dismiss such differences as "socialized stereotypes", but that assumption also dismisses the divine nature and differences set up and assigned from the time of Adam and Eve through now.
Men tend to exhibit and express the following gendered traits on average more than women: aggression/assertiveness, competition, task and goal orientation, power/control/status seeking, behavioral/physicality, stimulus-response, providing, protecting, linear thoughts and focuses/singular tasking.
Furthermore, women tend to exhibit and express the following gendered traits on average more than men: passivity/accommodation, nurturance, compassion, empathy, connection, verbalization, emotionality, nesting, and complex/broad interconnected thoughts and focuses/multitasking.
Resources to Understand and Work With Gender Differences
Tips for navigating how the main gender differences interplay and interact with male/female relationships is beyond the scope of this brief article. However, I strongly recommend that you read/listen to some decent material on gender and relationships. Here are some popular/useful resources that will give you useful ideas on the subject of men, women, and gender:
--Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray
--That's Not What I Meant! by Deborah Tannen
--You Just Don't Understand! by Deborah Tannen
--Whatever the latest books/other materials are that are currently used by the BYU department of Psychology for their class "Psychology of Gender", as well as the BYU department of Family Life for their class "Preparation for Marriage". Simply look up and email or call the head of both departments at BYU with the requests for these references (www.byu.org).
Learn about gender. Develop understanding and sensitivity to the differences of the opposite sex. Such complimentary differences were meant to be, because "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Sincerely,
Dr. G
**To readers: to submit a question to Dr. G for a future Q and A column, please send your questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Also, please register for a free account at www.ldsdimension.com for access to previous and future Dr. G articles.
| 2017-06-25 | Randy Gilchrist |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).