The general climate in the world today is, unfortunately, full of negativity and antagonism. The media especially aims to stir and trigger the unpleasant feelings of fear and anger to draw more ratings: viewers, readers, or listeners. The media is a business, so please remember this. To stir this fear and anger, the media commonly places different people into different groups, and then pits these groups of people against each other. The more the media can get different groups to fear and be angry with each other, the more money they can make.
For purposes of this article, the two groups the media traditionally pits against each other are men and women. So, what is the result of this antagonism between the sexes? Relationships problems. Dating problems. Conflict, contention, and resentment. Increasing divorce rates, lower marriage rates, and lower overall relational and marital satisfaction. And on the problems go. Simply put, all of these and other relational problems are going to follow men and women see each other as the enemy. Please, don’t buy into this and please don’t treat the opposite sex as foes or people to battle and blame. Men and women were meant to be together, dating back to Adam and Eve. Satan wants to frustrate dating and marriage to block healthy, happy family life, which is ultimately what is driving all of this.
In previous articles, I have written numerous articles about appreciating the opposite sex. Feel free to check them out here:
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/appreciating-masculinity-306/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/admiring-the-opposite-sex-209/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/antagonism-towards-the-opposite-sex-137/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/feminism-versus-masculinity-110/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/positive-ideas-about-femininity-216/
https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/valuing-femininity-114/
Finding Someone Who Appreciates the Opposite Sex:
There are several things you can look to that can indicate whether a person you are getting to know likes and appreciates the opposite sex or not. Here are a few suggestions:
*Notice how they commonly talk about the opposite sex. Is it usually positive? Complimentary? Admiring? Do they say positive things about the opposite sex much more often than negative? Or, do you commonly hear more negative, pessimistic, and cynical views and attitudes towards the others? Paying attention to the words used about and towards men and women usually will reveal their overall attitudes on the subject. So please notice this because it matters.
*Notice how they treat the opposite sex people in their lives. This includes the opposite sex parent, coworkers, friends, associates, waiters, janitors, strangers, etc. Please pay attention to all of this. Obviously, the better and more positive you see them treating anyone of the opposite sex in their life, the more they demonstrate an appreciate of and respect towards them. Even though all of these relationships matter, usually the most important of these relationships is the one with their opposite sex parent. The more positive that relationship is especially, the better this shows gender appreciation.
*Listen to how they describe their ex(es). If you hear a more diplomatic description of the ex where your dating partner owns their own negative contribution to the relationship, that is ideal. This also includes them keeping the negatives stated towards the ex to as reasonable, diplomatic, and civil as possible. Conversely, when all blame is given to the ex with zero ownership or personal responsibility taken even part of the problems, this is a big concern and red flag. Even worse, when a dating partner adds complaints about men or women in general along with the complaints about the ex, they are revealing even more disdain for the opposite sex.
*Observe and notice how they listen to the opposite sex talking. When someone of the opposite sex is talking in real life, the tv, or the movies, how is this information received and reacted to by your dating partner? Is it with civility, respect, and appreciation in general? Or is it usually with them acting put off, put out, cynical, or argumentative towards the ideas presented? Are these reactions similar to or different than how they respond to someone of the same gender? Compare and contrast to get the answer you looking for. This too reveals how they view and feel about the opposite sex.
Final Thoughts:
In every article I have written here, I add the following scripture at the end: “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1. Why? Because I am trying to reinforce the importance of the relationship between men and women. Men and women were meant to be together. God did not make a mistake when he made us this way. These differences are good, complimentary, purposeful, and serve important functions in a relationship. As you remember this and retain your appreciation for the opposite sex, you are well on your way towards a healthier, happier future marriage. Work to find and choose another with the same ideas as well, and the future looks bright. In closing to stay with tradition, I again leave you with the same words to remember: “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-09-24 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).