Depression can have a negative effect on efforts to date. And then when dating efforts don’t work out as hoped, feelings of depression can follow, as well loneliness and despair. It can be a vicious cycle. Furthermore, when depressed, people tend to not give off the positive energy generally required to attract and develop a healthy relationship. Either the depressive energy will repel people away or even worse, it may attract an unhealthy and predatory individual. In any event, depression does not work well when trying to date of even hoping to date. The purpose of this article will be to increase your understanding of depression, as well as offer a few ideas to combat this challenge.
Depression: A Definition.
Often when we think of depression, we think of words like sadness, despair, hopelessness, helplessness, fatigue, low motivation, etc. All of these traits fit depression. Although there are many different types of depression, a common kind of depression is called or “persistent depressive disorder” (also called “dysthymia” or “dysthymic depression”). “PDD” traits offer a pretty representative definition of these same kinds of depressive symptoms commonly suffered by those in the dating world. From Psychology Today magazine, we learn that PDD consists of the following possible traits:
*Low energy or fatigue. The main sign of persistent depressive disorder is a low, dark, or sad mood that occurs for most of the day, for more days than not, for at least two years. People with PDD often describe their mood as consistently sad or "down in the dumps." Other symptoms can include:
*Poor appetite or overeating
*Sleep disturbances
*Low self-esteem
*Poor concentration
*Feelings of hopelessness
*In PDD, these symptoms are not directly a result of a general medical condition or the use of substances. In addition, they result in impaired functioning in work, social, or personal areas.
(Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/persistent-depressive-disorder-dysthymia)
Ideas to Battle Depression:
*Regularly use quality self-help materials for depression, such as workbooks, audios, or videos. A few workbooks that are helpful with depression include the following:
Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger
The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression by William Knaus
Thoughts & Feelings by Matthew McKay
Hypnosis sessions designed to help with depression can also be helpful and can be found here:
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/depression-self-help
*Care for your body: healthy eating, good (but not excessive) sleep, and regular, moderate exercise together helps the body stay energized. It is hard to feel emotionally good when physically you are struggling and not caring well for your body. You also may wish to consider adding a supplement. The main one I recommend is the following over the counter vitamins/minerals/herb combination in Sunny Mood with 5HTP from Irwin Naturals. See: https://irwinnaturals.com/products/sunny-mood-with-5-htp. With more stubborn depression, it may be a good idea to meet with a psychiatrist to get antidepressant medication.
*Consider therapy: it may be beneficial to meet with a licensed and experienced clinical psychologist or marriage & family therapist. One-on-one therapy with a trained professional can greatly help you understand and combat depression in whatever unique and individual way you are struggling with it. When you go to a therapist, know that it might take you trying a few different therapists until you finally feel you are clicking with one you feel comfortable with.
*Get some stimulation going: when we are depressed, our good mood chemicals inside are rather low, stagnant, and dormant. Therefore a good way to work to ease depression and boost your mood is to engage in some enjoyable stimulating activities to help stir positive feelings up. Whatever hobbies or interests you feel are enjoyable to you will do. These activities can be done either solo or with someone, at home or away, free or costing money. All that matters is that you do more fun things more often towards yourself on a consistent basis.
*Improve your self-talk: be aware of how you treat yourself and how you talk to yourself. Work to stay as positive, optimistic, and energetic inside as possible. Minimize and if possible, avoid putting yourself down or criticizing yourself. The better you talk to yourself, the lower your depression will become. A good resource to help you with your self-talk is called, “How to Love Yourself” by Louise Hay (audiobook). You may wish to check it out at:
https://www.amazon.com/How-Love-Yourself-Louise-Hay/dp/1401904378#:~:text=Hay%20guides%20you%20through%20each,to%20feel%20good%20about%20yourself.
Final Thoughts:
Depression, although common in the dating world and in general today, can be battled and overcome. Not easy, but depression management is possible. Follow the ideas in this little article and start to gain better control over your mood. Be proactive, and remember the old saying: “if it is to be, it’s up to me”. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-03-14 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Psychological health |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).