I know this will sound obvious when I say it, but to attract another person, it is important to be…attractive. And that doesn’t only involve your looks. It also includes your attitude, personality, and disposition. You will struggle mightily with your dating and relationship life if you come across as glum, grumpy, sullen, snappy, grouchy, distant, or otherwise unapproachable. On the other hand, if you come across as positive, perky, optimistic, and a giver of positive energy, you will attract others much more. A wise old saying is that you will catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Please remember that when it comes to how you are coming across to others. Especially with those who are dating and relationship material. But really, remember this principle with everything you are around and interact with. Because, really, who wants to be around a Grumpy Gus or a Debby Downer? Most don’t and are repelled. So work to cheer up, brighten your disposition, and be someone others would want to be around.
Ideas to Cheer Up and Show Your Best Self:
*Be Aware: your self-awareness with your attitude and disposition are very important. Check yourself often. See yourself in the mirror. Pay attention to your tone of voice. Ask yourself regularly how you are carrying yourself and coming across with others. When you are aware, you can check yourself and make the needed adjustments and improvements. Conversely, when you are not aware of how you are presenting yourself to others, you cannot improve anything. Self-awareness is the single most important element and the first step with cheering up and improving your disposition.
*Practice. Develop a mode or a character of cheerfulness and show it regularly as the main default version of yourself. That includes your tone of voice, facial expression, body language, and choice of words. Cultivate and practice being a cheerful, perky, upbeat person. You can ask others how you are coming across. You can see yourself in the mirror as well. I suggest taking some brief videos of yourself practicing saying what you want to be saying to others. Then watch the brief videos and note how you are coming across verbally and non-verbally. Make whatever adjustments are needed along the way. Get in and stay in a cheerful mode as often as reasonably possible.
*Embrace being cheerful. Sometimes people say things about cheerful people like, “they are so fake or phony”. I would respond with, “so what?” People committed to being as cheerful as possible, as often as possible primarily give positive energy versus taking it away. With glum people it is the opposite. Cheerful people energize others and help to boost the mood of all around. Also socially, embracing and showing cheer will increase your friendships and dating/relationship prospects. When you accept the cheerful persona, it becomes much easier to show, much more often. So, please commit to being more cheerful and having a good attitude about cheerfulness.
*Remember and review scriptures about being more cheerful. Please review and consider these cheer-inducing scriptures and incorporate these ideas and principles into your life:
Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free. Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid brocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!
--Doctrine & Covenants 128:22-22
Adam fell that men might be; and men care, that they might have joy.
--2 Nephi 2:25
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you crest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
--Matthew 11:28-30
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
--John 16:33
Final Thoughts:
If you were meeting and getting to know you, would you want to get to know you? Would you want to be around you? Whatever your current answer is to that, I can assure you that the more cheerful you are, the more the answer to these questions will be yes. Show the honey side or yourself much more than the vinegar. Be the kind of person others would want to be around. You will pick up the spirits of others and improve your relationship and social life in the process. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com
| 2023-08-20 | Randy Gilchrist | Psychological health |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).