by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist
www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site)
Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other cosmetic procedures in all of their varieties the most popular they have ever been? In short, why are body image problems today so devastatingly common and rampant today? I'm sure that there are a number of contributing factors and reasons for these developments, but I will present my best understanding of these developments.
"Body image", as defined by the Webster dictionary, refers to " a subjective picture of one's own physical appearance established both by self-observation and by noting the reactions of others". In other words, a person's body image refers to how a person feels about their looks from their own observation combined with how they interpret other people's reactions to their appearance.
Research Findings on Body Image
From the Social Issues Research Centre, the following is a collection of research with implication for body image problems. In short, as unfair as it might be, better looking people tend to be treated better and are given more breaks in life:
--Attractive children are more popular, both with classmates and teachers. Teachers give higher evaluations to the work of attractive children and have higher expectations of them (which has been shown to improve performance).
--Attractive applicants have a better chance of getting jobs, and of receiving higher salaries. (one US study found that taller men earned around $600 per inch more than shorter executives.)
--In court, attractive people are found guilty less often. When found guilty, they receive less severe sentences.
--The 'bias for beauty' operates in almost all social situations – all experiments show we react more favorably to physically attractive people.
--We also believe in the 'what is beautiful is good' stereotype – an irrational but deep-seated belief that physically attractive people possess other desirable characteristics such as intelligence, competence, social skills, confidence – even moral virtue. (The good fairy/princess is always beautiful; the wicked stepmother is always ugly)
(Source: http://www.sirc.org/publik/mirror.html)
Reasons for the rise in body image problems:
--Thanks to the media, we have become accustomed to extremely rigid and uniform standards of beauty.
--TV, billboards, magazines etc mean that we see 'beautiful people' all the time, more often than members of our own family, making exceptional good looks seem real, normal and attainable.
--Standards of beauty have in fact become harder and harder to attain, particularly for women. The current media ideal of thinness for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population.
(Source: http://www.sirc.org/publik/mirror.html)
Therefore, because 95% of women will fall notably short of the physical feminine ideal, body image problems will be sure to follow with girls and women much more commonly than with males--although some boys and men struggle in this area too.
Improving Body Image:
So, if you struggle with your body image, what can you do about it? Here are a few suggestions:
*Treat your body healthier. Care for your body like a temple. Everyone can work on their physical health whatever their current looks may be (or, more accurately, one's perception of their looks). Eating healthier foods and balanced meals, exercising regularly and moderately, and having a regular, adequate sleep schedule as much as possible will help greatly. Not only improve your outer looks improve to a degree, but more importantly you will gain increased energy, mood, health, and self esteem. These efforts are not to be made obsessively and excessively, just moderately and regularly. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet or temporary endeavor. It's more for your insides than your outsides.
*Improve your self-talk about your looks and body. The conversation you have inside yourself about and towards yourself, your looks, and your body will mainly determine the body image and self acceptance you possess--even more than outer comments by others. Find ways and opportunities to compliment and praise yourself physically (without saying "but" afterwards and with some modesty). The more positively you talk about yourself, your changes will be positive, your improvements will improve, and your self-esteem will increase. Find things you like about yourself and give yourself compliments. Treat yourself like a best friends. If you wouldn’t talk that way towards them, do not talk that way about yourself.
*Be careful of the company you keep. When your body image is concerned, the way your closest friends and family tend to talk about their bodies and yours will often rub off on you as well for better or worse. Choose those with body friendly attitudes and words for companionship as much as possible. Compliment others you are around and accept their compliments as well. For certain family members and friends you can't shy away from (and/or where it would be inappropriate), swing conversations towards positive body image comments as much as possible. Walk away and set boundaries as needed. Remember the saying, birds of a feather flock together. Set the standard. Be the example. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Treat yourself the same way.
Improve the relationship you have with yourself. Improve your body image. Find a companion with the same (or nourish and compliment your current partner in this way). Help each other and support each other. Because "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). And finally, remember "…for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1st Samuel 16:7).
Best wishes,
Dr. G
**To readers: to submit a question to Dr. G for a future Q and A column, please send your questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Also, please register for a free account at www.ldsdimension.com for access to previous and future Dr. G articles.
| 2016-06-05 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Marriage preparation, Psychological health |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).