There are several ways to be single. You can be a person who has never been married. You can have had one or more divorces. Or you can be a widow/widower. Whatever your particular circumstance, most adult members of the church will be single at some point of their lives. The church recently revealed that for the first time ever, more adult church members are single than married—just over 50%. An April, 2021 Deseret News article stated the following:
“…The majority of adult church members are now unmarried, widowed, or divorced. This is a significant change. It includes more than half our Relief Society sisters, and more than half our adult priesthood brothers. This demographic pattern has been the case in the worldwide church since 1992, and in the church in the United States and Canada since 2019.”
(Source: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2021/4/6/22364033/latter-day-saint-young-single-adults-can-hold-new-callings-in-the-church-lds-mormon-ysa)
Even though the number of single members is only getting higher, married life is still held as the ideal. The main goal to strive for and remain committed to. Yet when being married somehow doesn’t happen or doesn’t work out for some reason, difficult feelings often result, such as depression, sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, frustration, resentment, etc. It is quite a challenge for church leaders to both promote the marital ideal, while at the same time not upset the feelings of some single members in the process. When a person fully and honestly prefers to be single, this subject matters far less. However, when someone truly wants and wishes to be married but currently is not for any reason, remaining hopeful to eventually have this blessing is an important coping mechanism. And being hopeful in general for their eternal salvation.
Being Hopeful as Singles:
The general authorities have offered many hope-generating quotes. Singles can know that everyone who is both worthy and wishes to be married eventually will, either in this life or the next. And whenever that marriage happens to occur, single members can also have hope for happiness now through the atonement and the support of The Spirit. The waiting process necessary. Accordingly, here are some hope generating quotes. I hope you will find helpful and useful:
“Many of the most important deprivations of mortality will be set right in the Millennium, which is the time for fulfilling all that is incomplete in the great plan of happiness for all of our Father’s worthy children. We know that will be true of temple ordinances. I believe it will also be true of family relationships and experiences.”
--Elder Dallin H. Oakes, “The Great Plan of Happiness,” Ensign, Nov. 1993
“There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things [see D&C 88:11–13]. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn.”
--President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Hope of God’s Light,” Ensign, May 2013.
“When we have hope, we trust God’s promises. We have a quiet assurance that if we do “the works of righteousness,” we “shall receive [our] reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” (Doctrine and Covenants 59:23). Mormon taught that such hope comes only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ: “What is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise” (Moroni 7:41).
--https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/hope
“It is undeniable that life can bring each of us heartache, devastation, despair. It is undeniable that the gospel brings us hope, which, when well planted, grows into a magnificent garden. Hope is a steadying influence. To say it is an anchor is to say it can keep us from drifting aimlessly or getting caught in whirlpools or running into sandbars. Hope, the anchor, is essential in this world so full of tidal waves. Sometimes those waves slap us from behind, sometimes we see them coming but cannot stop them or get out of the way. In all cases hope ties us to safety. The waves come and go in their fury or playfulness, but hope is always there if we will but use this sure anchor. Remember—hope matters. May we “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.” (2 Ne. 31:20.)”
--Elaine L. Jack, “A Perfect Brightness of Hope”, Ensign, March, 1992
Final Thoughts:
The opposite of hope is despair. Please work on cultivating and strengthening your hope and faith that you can and will be married if you are worthy and desire this blessing. Please also have strengthen your hope for happiness today, as well as eternal life in the world to come. This hope will bring the Spirit, which helps you be happy today. You can and will have an eternal companion if you wish. And you can be happy now before that happens. This can be your path when you choose it. Because “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2021-11-28 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Marriage preparation |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).