I have heard it said before that when we are happy, we better match up with another happy person in a relationship. You give out happiness and then attract it better in return. The happier we are individually, the better the journey will be as a single member of the church as well. That doesn’t mean you don’t desire marriage and companionship. It means you are happy in your current life right now and will be even happier with a positive relationship, commitment, and marriage in the future. So, what does it mean to be happy? Taken from the dictionary, to be happy is as follows: Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction. In this article, elements of happiness will be discussed, with the goal being to help you be as happy as possible. Again, this will assist and support your dating and relationship life, as well as for your personal life in general.
Elements of Happiness:
*Spiritual Happiness: we learn from the scriptures that wickedness never was happiness. We learn the following from Alma 41:10-11: Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness. And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. In other words, when we follow the commandments, are in good standing with God and have possess the Spirit inside, we will have true inner happiness.
A good rule of thumb to assess how well we are doing is to check ourselves with how well we are currently doing with the temple recommend questions. And to then improve whatever areas needs improvement from there. To check yourself, feel free to review these articles: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2019/11/57nelson?lang=eng and https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/going-back-to-the-temple-addressing-and-eliminating-excuses-280/. In addition, you can also check how well you feel and possess the Holy Ghost, which you can also check this article as well: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/the-role-of-the-spirit-in-the-relationship-319/.
*Personal Happiness: the conversations you have with and about yourself goes a long way to determine how happy you will be inside yourself. If you are positive, hopeful, kind, encouraging, patient, and loving towards yourself, that will greatly help your happiness through a healthy, happy relationship with oneself. On the other hand, if you treat yourself harshly with a lot of self-criticism, judging yourself, and negativity, it becomes very difficult if not impossible to be happy inside. This self-negativity will drag you down. Therefore, to improve your own personal happiness, please work on treating yourself more positively. To do so, I recommend these resources: How to Love Yourself (audio) by Louise Hay, as well as the workbook Mind Over Mood by Greenburger and Padesky.
Interpersonal Happiness:
Happiness in relationships (family, friends, dating, etc.) relates to 2 factors: how healthy you approach and treat others, as well as how healthy they approach and treat you. Healthy relationships include mutual respect, civility, and considerate interactions. In short, the healthier your relationships, the happier you will be in this arena of your life. Naturally, we as people are social beings. Therefore, a part of our happiness requires positive connection and quality time with others. Here is a simple yet effective formula: choose healthy people and eliminate the unhealthy people out of your life. To have healthier, happier relationships with others, learn about healthy relationships, choose them, and nurture them.
To learn more about what healthy and happy relationships are all about, I recommend these materials: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, and People Skills by Robert Bolton. In addition, you might want to consider listening to some related pre-recorded hypnosis sessions from www.hypnosisdownloads.com. I would suggest applicable interpersonally focused sessions at: https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/interpersonal-skills.
Final Thoughts:
Please commit and work at being happy every day. Please focus on these key areas that greatly impact and are connected to your happiness: the spiritual, personal, and interpersonal areas of your life. Happiness is a choice, a skill, and a lifestyle. Please choose and commit to happy living, inside and out. When you do, this will improve your personal quality of life, as well as your future dating and relationship life. And remember, “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2022-10-09 | Randy Gilchrist | Healthy relationships |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).