Sometimes people enter the dating world for the first time (or again after a breakup) and quickly find a new partner. However, most of the time it takes some time, especially when you are looking for an active church member to date. Months, years, even decades. The important thing to remember is that pushing forward in the dating world towards finding special that partner that is a keeper is usually more marathon than sprint. Pacing yourself will allow you to continue on for as long as needed. Too much, too fast could lead to dating burnout and even giving up altogether for long stretches of time.
Ideas to Avoid Dating World Burnout:
The best ways to help you pace yourself and avoid dating burnout will somehow allow you to rejuvenate, replenish, and revitalize yourself before heading back out into the fray. Here are a few rejuvenating ideas:
*Head out with some of your sex same friends. Go out to do your favorite fun bonding activities together: food, sports, hobbies, dancing, concerts, whatever. The main thing is that you head out with good friends, the focus is on fun, and meeting others of the opposite sex is not the emphasis. Fun and friends are a great way to rejuvenate, as well as to get social needs met in a safe, platonic environment.
*Binge watch some of your favorite comedy movies, TV shows, or stand-up comedy performances (such as the clean “Dry Bar Comedy” videos or “Laugh USA” on Sirius/XM radio). Go back to some favorites and enjoy. Find the funny in life. Humor often is the best medicine. Get yourself laughing, stir up some endorphins, and get smiling again. For instance, you may wish to check out: the long running TV show “America’s Funniest Home Videos”, such as on Netflix. If we can laugh at others, laugh at ourselves, and laugh at life circumstances in general, it definitely takes the edge off and helps you cope.
*Get Some Regular Exercise. People who exercise regularly have lowered rates of depression, stress, and anxiety. Getting those endorphins, adrenaline, and other positive chemicals flowing will definitely be a mood booster to give you the energy, health, confidence, and wherewithal to keep making dating efforts. The best exercise to do is…the exercise that you are willing to do. Going to the gym, talking walks, jogging, cycling, swimming, sports, hiking, etc. Whatever your thing is, do it. At least 3-4 times a week, at least 30-60+ minutes.
*Improve Your Diet. When you eat healthy foods, cut out unhealthy foods, and eat moderate meals and snacks spread throughout the day, you improve your physical health, as well as your emotional health. The foods you eat or cut out will go a long way to help you pace and persevere through whatever your dating journey may include. For some good ideas to improve your diet to address stress, anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, and many other physical and psychological/emotional challenges, I suggest this book: Prescription for Nutritional Healing by Balch.
*Travel. Get out of the house and go see some fun and interesting places. You can just go for the day, a weekend, or a week or longer (as time and money allow). Traveling is a great way to reinvigorate yourself by getting away for the same usual environments that can tire you or leave you feeling worn out. Refresh yourself by seeing new places. Choose interesting and relaxing environments. Have minimal activities planned and just enjoy yourself.
*Read/Watch/Listen to Uplifting Materials. Materials that provide adventure and fun with an uplifting spirit can make for a great escape and diversion. Find book, magazines, videos, audios, etcetera that you look forward to engrossing yourself in. Find what will energize you, motivate you, and help you increase your desire to re-engage with the real world once more. Get recommendations from trusted friends or family members. When you trust someone, you can usually trust that their recommendations will be winners as well.
*Revisit Positive Nostalgia. Old personal pictures, videos, or journals of previously positive people, places, things, or events can be good to revisit when the mood strikes. Friends, family, holidays, travel, etc. When we remember positives from earlier times, we can be reinvigorated to “go for it” again in life and relationships. If we could find happiness and enjoyment before, we can be reminded and encouraged to continue the present and future search for more.
Final Thoughts:
Again, the dating world is best approached as a marathon than a sprint. Pace yourself in a fashion that you can maintain over the long haul. Do what is needed to give yourself new strength, energy, motivation, and perseverance. The journey is worth the reward. Because “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11
Sincerely,
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2019-02-04 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating, Psychological health |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).