Men. We are pretty simple creatures for the most part. We may or may not be “easy” to deal with, depending on our personality and whatever other issues we may have. But otherwise, we are usually pretty simple. This especially involves what we are attracted to with women. From my experience both as a man and as a therapist seeing these forces at work, there are a few (3) key things that tend to find especially attractive with women. To understand these traits will help women know why they are or are not attracting men to date and have relationships with. This will hopefully also help women know what traits are important to regularly (but moderately) work on strengthening and improving.
Things that Men Find Attractive About Women (in no particular order):
1) Looks: As explained in the previous article “Universal Beauty Indicators”, men are naturally wired to be attracted to certain physical feminine traits (see https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/universal-beauty-indicators-67/). These traits include the following: women who are shorter than they are, have a youthful appearance, and exhibit features such as a symmetrical face, full breasts, full lips, and a low waist-hip ratio. Such traits are thought to indicate fertility and health. Other traits include clean, clear skin and longer, voluptuous hair. Does this describe the extreme of female attractiveness? Yes. Fortunately, women are not expected to look perfect like an ideal “Barbie doll” to most men, but just look attractive enough to him. How good do the looks need to be for him to be attracted? That varies. However, a good rule of thumb is that a guy is attracted to a woman who is roughly as good looking as he is or perhaps a little better than that. But men don’t usually expect or seek out much more than that. Because otherwise we wouldn’t be a match.
A scripture in the Old Testament reads as follows: "…the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (I Samuel 16:7). Men are wired very strongly and powerfully in a visual way. This will always be the case and we can admit it. Looks matter to men.
2) Being Nice/In a Good Mood: If it were possible for a woman to be nice and in a good mood all the time, that would be desired by a man. No, that is not possible in the real world—nor is that expected--but you being nice and in a good mood often and most of the time is very attractive to him. Other synonyms of “nice” or “in a good mood” includes things like acting happy, perky, sweet, appreciative, complimentary, friendly, energetic, lively, warm, excited, and so on. The opposites of being nice and in a good mood would be if you come across as mean, cold, argumentative, angry, standoffish, unhappy, and so on. It is like the old saying goes, “you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. In a similar fashion, showing him a nice side with a good mood the bulk of the time will attract strongly.
3) Being Fun: We men are behavioral creatures and behavioral bonders. Therefore, we like it when we see active, energetic, lively women who have mutual hobbies and interests that can be shared together. Women doing things with an open mind that he is into and she is working enjoying too (or at least doing it with a good attitude) is also attractive. A bonus as well is when she will act supportive of him doing his other behavioral fun (hobbies and interests) that she isn’t into but is at least understanding and supportive of. In other words, we guys are “doers”. We would like you to be fun and do things with us, as well as support us doing some things apart.
Final Thoughts:
Good looking, nice, fun women are attractive to men. Especially when they are usually in a good mood. Whatever women can do to show these 3 good sides more often that not will be attractive. Being attractive in these ways is what offers women more initial dating opportunities. Of course, just being attractive to each other just helps things begin. From there, how you treat each other (and other important long-term factors) will combine to determine whether the relationship will last or not. Work on being strong in both immediate and long-term ways to give yourself the best chance possible for a great relationship. Understanding and working on these 3 factors versus resisting or even fighting against them will promote more dating opportunities for women, more often. This is just an essential part of the process to kick start a relationship. It is worth it because “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2021-11-07 | Randy Gilchrist | Understanding men, Healthy relationships |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).