|
Common Complaints from MenThis is my 200th short article for LDS Dimension and other associated sites on Facebook. Over the past 4+ years I have written these weekly articles on many different topics and focuses of special interest for single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As I was considering what topic to write on for this week, I remembered a recent comment made in a men’s Facebook group I was helping with. He basically said he didn’t feel that women even wanted to hear what single men’s
|
|
When to VentThere are times when still acting in civil and respectful ways in a relationship is essential when you are actually feeling quite negative. It can simply be poor timing to fully open up about it all. Consider intense feelings of anger, resentment, pessimism, cynicism, and so on. When you are feeling in some of these highly negative ways, showing these feelings openly and fully at that moment can be taxing and will often create conflict and difficulties in relationships. This is especially true
|
|
Admiring the Opposite SexIn the 21st century the media and society often pit men and women against each other, as well as blur and confuse ideas about gender and gender differences. As a result, it is common for men and women today to possess an antagonism towards the opposite sex, as well as a confusion about gender and gender roles/traits. What effect does this antagonism and confusion have on dating and relationships? In short, a bad effect: it is very difficult to connect with and maintain a relationship with a
|
|
Emotional AffairsTechnology has created many advantages and conveniences in modern life. Having access to endless websites, apps, and social media, and having your cell phone always with you can make life much easier and more convenient in many ways. However unfortunately, technology also allows for other problems to become easier to engage in as well, namely emotional affairs/infidelity. When in a (hopefully) committed relationship, online affairs through one’s computer or cell phone makes cheating easier and
|
|
What to Do While Homebound: Making the Most of Your QuarantineAt the time of this writing (3/15/20) the coronavirus/COVID-19 has led to the shutdown of schools, churches (including ours), and gatherings of over 10+ people. People are basically being asked to stay indoors at home as much as possible and to engage in “social distancing”. These circumstances led me to write this article with some ideas for handling times when you are homebound for any period of time for any reason. Whether you are at home because you are sick, feel too anxious to get out, or
|
|
Different Ways Men and Women CommunicateThe number one most common complaint I hear from men and women in couples therapy is that they are having difficulties with communication and want to communicate better with each other. In fact, I can’t remember any couples therapy I have ever done with a couple that did not include some version of this same goal. In this article I will review some of the main common differences in the primary gendered ways and purposes (but not the only ways and purposes) men and women communicate, along with
|
|
Dating Quotes by General AuthoritiesWhether you are a young adult, a mid-single, or a senior in the church dating scene, the advice from general authorities is for all. As members we can be served to remember the following scripture: “…whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” (Doctrine & Covenants 1:38). The main servants of the Lord are what we now refer to as the “general authorities”. In general conference talks, general authorities have spoken numerous useful and helpful ideas, thoughts, and
|
|
What Men Want Women to Know About PornographyPornography use among both single and married boys and men in our church—The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints—is a very touchy and controversial topic. Seemingly every priesthood session of conference has a talk about the evils of pornography, full of warnings, concerns, and instructions to repent of this evil and seek help. Since 2016, Utah as a state has even declared pornography a major health crisis (see:
|
|
Dating ConversationsOne of the biggest determiners of whether or not an initial date goes well or not is how the conversation goes. People come home from a date deciding whether or not to have additional dates or not. A lot of this relates to how the talking and listening went, both directions. If it went well, there is a far greater chance more additional dates will happen and that a relationship will develop. If not—if the conversation was flat or contentious, the first date will likely be the last date. So
|
|
Dating Members OnlyIn the singles scene as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, finding good members to date and eventually marry can be challenging. In addition to the normal challenges of finding a nice, decent, respectable person that is marriage material, there is an added challenge as well. There is also the difficulty of finding a fellow member of the church that, ideally is of decent church standing and activity that can eventually take you to the temple. Because of these double
|
|
Finding Mutual InterestsIn any dating relationship (and potential future marriage), a challenge exists every time: dealing with differences. One of the biggest challenges involves how a couple deals with different or discrepant interests and hobbies. Genders, personalities, and backgrounds differ, thus adding to differences with what each person in the relationship likes doing for fun and fulfillment. If this issue is not navigated well, frustration, contention, and resentment may develop, as well as distance and
|
|
Deciding When Dating Multiple PeopleOne suggestion most singles have heard is the idea to “date multiple people at the same time” to keep your options open and give the most opportunities for relationship success. And as relationships are brand new, dating more than 1 person at a time is common, understandable, perhaps desirable (depending on your preferences). However, it doesn’t take very long for a pressure and an urgency to kick in to choose the one main person to date, while letting the other(s) go. It soon becomes
|
|
Money, Priorities, and RelationshipsA sensitive subject for single members in the dating arena concerns their own and another’s present and future financial situation. In other words, money. Truth be told, we have often heard some confusing ideas, advice, and suggestions on the subject. On one hand, people may tell you things like “money isn’t everything”, “money doesn’t but happiness”, or “a lot of rich people are jerks”. Conversely, we logically know inside that how much money (and/or debt) a person has, their credit score, and
|
|
Keeping an Eternal Perspective for SinglesOne of the most challenging aspects of being a single member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is keeping an eternal perspective. An understandable frustration for singles is, “when will I meet him/her?” “Will it ever happen in this life?” “Am I going to be single forever?” While the answers to these questions are individual between the particular member and the Lord, everyone can cope better by working to maintain an eternal perspective along their life’s journey. This phrase
|
|
Encouraging Quotes for SinglesMany times, singles can feel alone, unsupported, perhaps forgotten as members of the church. Therefore, the purpose of this article is to simply be a compilation of various encouraging quotes from conference talks/general authorities to help support singles. These simple quotes speak for themselves, so enjoy. Encouraging Conference Quotes for Singles: Kathleen Lubeck Peterson, Singles and Marrieds: Together in Faith (General Conference, April, 2006): “President Gordon B. Hinckley is mindful
|
|
Finding Worth as a SingleOne of the great emphases of our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is a strong orientation towards marriage and family. Most church talks, videos, and articles emphasize the nuclear family of a husband, a wife, and children. Often, lots of children. This is shown as the ideal to strive for. Things like divorce, being widowed, or never marrying are only discussed as special topics of interest, and only occasionally. So logically, single members of the church often feel
|